Disney on Ice review

Well firstly a Merry in-between Christmas and New Year to you all. I hope Santa brought you what you wanted and you've gorged on everything you possibly can!  That has certainly been the case chez Noble. What a great Christmas it's been.

And to make it better, Molly (aged 5) and myself (aged something) took a trip to Disney on Ice at the O2 arena yesterday.

We set off early to enjoy our girls day out and what should have been an easy train ride, did actually take half an hour longer because of planned engineering works, but never mind, it didn't dampen the mood at all.
We arrived at the O2 far too early, it was about 1pm and the show didn't actually start until 4. I thought Molly and I would go out for lunch but she wasn't hungry because she'd had a sandwich on the way to the station, so we mooched and came across the Sky TV area. We were invited in by very friendly staff and went upstairs to the "studio".  We played putting ourselves in photos with famous people for a while, it was fun and no one was hurrying us along, so we pretty much smooched with everyone we could -

It was so much fun, and the we went into the new studio for Molly to read the important news about Cinderella turning up at Disney on Ice. She was a pro, a future career laid out in front of our eyes! 

We were then asked if we were Sky customers, "er No" I replied to the lovely young lady with us, "well pretend you are" she said and put backstage stickers on our tickets. "Come back at 2pm and you can chill out at Skybackstage!"

So we went on to visit the British Music Experience, which is a sort of museum. I thought i'd educate Molly on all the stuff I listened to when I was younger, but she was really only interested in trying to find One Direction, but the exhibition wasn't that modern. So we walked around for a bit (it only cost us £2 each because of our Disney Tickets) and then stumbled across the "Dance the decades" studio. Molly chose the Locomotion, and after watching a short video of the computer generated girl doing the moves, we had a go. It was video'd and scanning our ticket afterwards has given us the chance to laugh at ourselves for hours on end from their website. Brilliant fun. A real Muso would love it there.

So now we were getting a little peckish but the queues for the restaurants were getting bigger and we still weren't massively hungry, so we opted for a takeaway hotdog eaten on a bench. Great for on the go food, and perfect timing for our Skybackstage "party"

We headed back to Sky and once again we welcomed with open arms. Ok, so it wasn't really a big party, there was a long queue for face-painting but frankly that was a good waste of time because Sofia the First was playing on the floor to ceiling screen whilst we were queuing. So Molly got her face painted and then her photo taken against the Sky backdrop. A fantastic bar, if we were going to sit down and have a drink, and definitely worth a visit with grownups lol!

And then on to the show. We had fab tickets. Row K, block 110 and an excellent view of the ice. It was cold, but then its an ice show, what do you expect!! Didn't stop Molly having an ice cream though, but old mummy opted for a coffee.

The show itself was nothing less than spectactular. Pure Disney genius, with a lot of glam, sparkle, music and dance. You almost forget that on top of the amazing show, they are actually on ice and the skating itself was awesome. We saw Princess Tiana, Cinderella, Snow White and the main part of the show was Rapunzle, with characters so true to their movie characters, including Maximus, who was great on the ice too. The show was over by 6pm and we found it easy to get out and get to the station without too much of a squeeze.
The O2 is a great venue, if you've not been before and have something booked, I recommend taking more time out to mooch around and get something to eat.  And to top our fantastic day off, Molly's wobbly tooth came out on the train home.

On a final note, I'm so sorry I've not got a pic of this weeks cake. I made my first ever meringue Roulade for Christmas. Meringue, chestnut cream and fresh raspberries. Got eaten up before i could find my camera! :)

My smug response to "37 things you'll regret when you're old".... and christmas baking!

So there is a link circulating facebook at the moment (well there are hundred, but apart from knowing how middle class or right-wing I am, this one is a little more structured educationally). It is 37 things you'll regret when you're old.  I read through this list, and felt very proud of myself, which then inspired me to write another blog with my lifestyle coach head on to remind people IT'S YOUR LIFE, LIVE IT TO THE MAX!

Here's my personal response to some of the items on the list -
1.Not Travelling when you had the chance
I have been lucky, living at home after Uni, gave me the chance to save a few quid to enjoy myself. From two week breaks to Greek Islands, and Spanish party resorts (although I've still not done Ibiza) to booking a three week holiday to Thailand on a weeks notice, which was probably the most exciting holiday I've ever taken, to stunning honeymoons in Singapore, The Maldives, and a stunning freebie to Mauritius (DO ENTER COMPETITIONS, SOMEONE HAS TO WIN!!) I'm happy now for a few years off, whilst the children grow up, and do my week in the sun with a kids club and mini disco!

2.Not learning another language
Thankfully my school was German (not often you would hear someone say that), and by that I mean founded by an Austrian and therefore pushed the German language from the age of 5. I will now endeavour to teach my children foreign languages (thank you Dora for the help), it will make their holidays and travels so much more rewarding.

4. Forgoing Sunscreen
When I go on holiday, if I'm lucky, my skin colour will go slightly pink. I can't sunbathe, it just doesn't actually work for me and I would only burn, and because of this, and my insistence to cover the whole family in factor 50 I do think my skin is better for it, and I still look like the child I act like!

5. Missing the chance to see your favourite musician
Book tickets to EVERYTHING you can! Reading festival on numerous occasions was definitely the highlight of my gigging life, and I can't count how many times I have seen Terrorvision, The Bluetones and Gene but each time leaves you feeling so exhilarated, so much a part of the atmosphere and the making of these great bands! Now I fear the next band I might be seeing will be One Direction God help me!!

8. Letting yourself be defined by gender roles
I'm not sure if I'm a Tomboy or a girly girl. I pick and choose my moments, but no one was stopping me going on my lads football tour to Thailand (see above). Thankfully there was no playing of the sport involved, because I really would have let myself down there, but lots of sitting in pubs, watching the World Cup and generally being one of the lads.  Although I do recall leaving the pub at half time during one game, because I'd seen a fabulous handbag in a shop down the road. Do whatever you want to do, it doesn't matter what or who you are!

10. Not trying hard in school
I'm ashamed to say I was a goody goody at school.  I only ever had one detention and that was from the Pottery teacher! I did love school. I loved my teachers and I loved learning, and now at this ripe old age it has paid off (more about that in 2014!!). I want my children to enjoy learning too and am so pleased to say that in the current situation, Molly's school teachers provide such a fabulous environment that the children are excited to go in and learn. Please long may this continue!

11. Not realizing how beautiful you were
Here's one for all you ladies (and some men out there) you ARE beautiful. Look at yourself, look how well your dress yourself, do your hair and make up, look how others look at you. Appreciate yourselves because the more you do, the more others will.  Stop dieting, stop trying to look like airbrushed magazine photos. Look natural, look unique and look in the mirror!

12. Being afraid to say "I love you"
Its my favourite phrase and I use it all the time. I love my family and my friends. I'm not scared to tell them. Don't be scared to say it, because think how it make you feel if someone says it to you! My husband and I tell each other every single day that we love each other. Its said genuinely too, not as routine and just adds that sense of security and good feeling to the end of a phone conversation. If you don't do it now, start to! It goes for mum's, dad's, siblings and friends too. Obviously children go without saying.

15. Caring too much about what other people think
SO WHAT? If you want to do something, and its not illegal or so dangerous that you might end up dead, do it! I want to wear a pink dress with red tights, what are you going to do about it (actually thats more Molly than me). I want to quit my job and become a pop star (well I don't, its just an example), go for it! I want to buy one person a present, but not another... and so on. Its your life, make your own decisions!

18. Holding grudges, especially over someone you love
This has happened within my family for the past 20 years, and just recently contact was remade between a number of cousins of varying degrees and life is SO MUCH better for it. Most grudges are forgotten, but the bad feeling remains. When you look back and ask yourself why you are feuding, and can't actually remember a viable reason, then be a better person and contact them. Facebook is excellent for just this, and not just pictures of cats doing stupid things!

20. Not volunteering enough
One of lifes most rewarding experiences, is seeing other people in greater need than you, benefiting from something you have done. Whether its raising money for charity, helping out at a school fayre or taking food parcels round to an elderly neighbour. Following on from this, I will volunteer my time to anyone who needs a shoulder, a cuppa and a frank talking to!

23. Working too much
I am certainly not guilty of this one! I work three days a week, and those three days I will put 100% in to my work, and very occasionally, a little more outside of those days, but the rest of my time is MINE (well the children's really). It is so important to spend your time wisely before it passes by too quickly, what is the point in earning so much money from hard work if you can't spend it on the things that make you happy. Not everyone wants to be their own boss, and hardly anyone wants to be putting in a 60 hour week. Look abroad, and see how much family time our neighbours have in Europe. Children grow up too quickly, holidays are over too soon, don't miss them for work!

25. Not stopping enough to appreciate the moment
Life does pass by so quickly, and its vital to stop occasionally and just look around you, drink in the moment and the atmosphere and be grateful for what you have. Whether its a sunny day and you are able to sit in the garden and watch the butterflies flitting around, or whether you have taken that well earned holiday and can sit on a rock overlooking a stunning view of a bay, a mountain or the countryside (it doesn't have to be a rock you sit on either).

29. Refusing to let friendships run their course
This is probably the most difficult, because friendships, unlike some relationships aren't expected to come to an end without good reason, but the truth is they do. Growing up changes all of us, and to hang on to a friendship where one or both parties are not going to put 100% effort in is devastating, hurtful and can even turn quite nasty.
Rather than cling on to a friendship worth nothing, move on and remember those good times before its too late, and all your thoughts are bitter ones.

30. Not playing with your kids enough
I definitely can't be accused of not doing this. From the second I wake up (as usually i'm being woken by one of the children) the imaginative games start, breakfast is not just breakfast, it is the breakfast of kings and queens and most certainly princesses and all their pets. Walking around the park is a jungle full of wild animals, and which one of us princesses can save them all! The only risks to some of these games I would say, include me getting stuck on a slide, and the fact that as a mother of two, I can only last about 4 minutes on the trampoline before I need to run to the loo!

33. Worrying too much
Easier said than done, but if you personally cannot do anything about a situation, don't worry! And if you can do something to influence an outcome or change, then get on with it and stop worrying.

36. Never performing in front of others
This one might not be for everyone, as some people really do prefer to be the audience than the entertainment, but for someone like me, a little bit of a extrovert some might say, life is a performance, and the bigger the audience the better. We will revisit this again next spring!! Watch this space.

37. Not being grateful sooner
ALWAYS show your gratitude when you can, because if you wait too long, you may not get the chance to do it. Whether its something simple, like a playdate when you're running late and can't get to school pick up on time or something major like a big gift from someone, it takes seconds to say Thank You, moments to write a Thank you card, and about £20 to send a cute bunch of flowers. Recipients will feel that appreciation and will want to help you again, and vice versa, if someone show's their gratitude to you, you would want to help them again too!

On reflection I feel that I can grow old now knowing that I don't have very many regrets, and I'm not even half way through my life yet (hopefully). Long may I continue to enjoy myself, appreciate and help others around me and of course...bake cakes for everyone I know!

Now for the picture of the day! A couple of shots of some christmas gifts I made this year. First time for home baked gifts, but the feedback has been amazing so far. Double chocolate biscotti (with a hint of orange), Star shaped Lebkuchen for that authentic German market feel and Vanilla fudge for pure indulgence. Enjoy!

Its that time of year again... the works christmas do! ... and a Barcelona cake!

What do you get if you cross a Frenchman, Italian, Russian, Indian, Arab, Korean, American etc.?
THE BIGMACHINES CHRISTMAS WORKS DO!!

I thought I'd write an entertaining little blog on my works Christmas do this year, as for a UK office as small as ours, the multi-culturalness of it all makes a fantastic albeit it not quite politically correct day out!
So in addtion to the above, there were a few British, an honorary German, a couple of tee-totallers and a few more drinkers!

We booked to eat at the Dickens Inn, in St. Katherine's dock. When I say we, I obviously mean me, as the control-freak Office Manager. I booked it for 1.30, because at my age, no one likes a really late night, but to be on the safe side, and assuming everyone would be late, I told them to get there for 1pm! How embarrassing for me then to arrive to find nearly all of them there before me!! And I had spent my whole train journey wondering how many pre-ordered and paid for meals I could eat if no one else turned up.

Maybe its an age thing again, but I thought the food was just awful! Mr Dickens (although it may not be owned by you any more, nor ever in the past come to think of it), just because you are catering for 18 people in one sitting, it doesn't mean you have to immediately swap all fresh foods for processed, extra salted crap! Especially when we only had three things to choose from in the first place! Luckily, I was the only person who admitted that the food was awful so I didn't embarrass myself this time by complaining (but maybe TripAdvisor might get a little review later).  Between our starter and main, the wonderful Simon, Katie and Graham S (honorary German) created a quiz. It was hysterical. Serious general knowledge questions with fantastic forfeits for those of us who got them wrong.  Asking an Italian to talk about baking non stop for a minute lead to some interesting facts (out of work hours of course), asking an Indian to hug his big French colleague was almost scary and trying to get the 100% British guy, who's not sure that he is British to pronouce Yacht properly definitely lightened the atmosphere. As did the drinks, courtesy of work, free flowing.

After the (disappointing) dinner (maybe I should become a restaurant critique, although I'm no good with really spicy foods, mushrooms, peppers and most posh things), we headed off to a pre-booked Karaoke bar, The Old School Yard. I'd booked this from 5-7pm.  Our dear director had headed there early, as a delayed flight meant he missed out on dinner (at the delight of all the greedy buggers in my office). His words to me when he go to the bar were "I think i'm here but its scary". This was at 4 o'clock in the afternoon!

We went to join our poor scared director (he's the Korean one who said being asked to sing Gangnam style was indeed Racist!) to find the bar was closed. After banging on the door at 4.30pm we were told to come back at 5, when they would be open early for our karaoke party. We were all a little apprehensive at this point, but found a nearby bar which was very pleasant and no one was wielding knives in it. Safe for the non-londoners to drink in.

Back to Karaoke, now if you have any doubts and concerns as to whether people will join in, and you book a private room do NOT fear. Even the most teetotal of us all were jumping on the sofa's inflatable guitars in hand, oversized sunglasses (come on, its gotta be done at Karaoke) belting out tunes that only the 70's and 80's could have given us. It was a roaring success and I definitely would recommend it. The choice book wasn't that great, but once we started keying in anything that could be shouted, and a few cocktails were ordered (which brings me onto another complaint, hang on!) everyone sang and everyone almost lost their voices.
Now back to the cocktails, Mojito's I get. Apart from a little too much ice, they are refreshing tasty boozy and leave your breath minty fresh. Mai Tai, again a lovely fruity little number that can be drunk in the same way you would drink milk straight out of the bottle in the fridge if you thought no one was looking but JAGERBOMBS! What the hell????? Firstly, this Jagermeister is a strange spirit. It doesn't really have a taste, its not strong, its not aniseedy, its just, well, there! And not pleasant either. Bad enough on its own, so WHY OH WHY do you put the glass of Jagermeister in another glass with REDBULL! The most disgusting drink on this planet (even worse than rootbeer) and then tell your customer to neck it! I can't see how you can neck a drink with a glass in it. Talk about health and safety, never mind getting drunk and falling over, what about splintering your mouth with a broken shot glass you've just swallowed! Sorry guys, but I just don't get it!

We were kicked out of Karaoke at 7pm, following a lovely Secret Santa, gifts for all! Mostly inappropriate and definitely NOT politically correct, so well received by all. By now, no one was scared of Bermondsey and we marched proudly on to the next nearest bar, losing a few teetotallers on the way. It was getting very late though, it had gone 7pm and suddenly the age gap within the team was apparent. The youngsters, and childless ones hadn't noticed the time and were happy to continue drinking, the older ones, and I really now have to include myself amongst them, found a table and slumped. One more drink was bare-able, one more Jagerbomb sent us over the edge.

By 8.30pm we woke each other up and started the stumble to the train station. I had to put my dear friend David on his train to Paddington and then make my own way to the other platform for my Baker street train. I tried my hardest not to fall asleep on the train, I have NO idea if I succeeded or not but I found my way to Rickmansworth, and my wonderful mother was waiting for me! It doesn't matter how old you are, you are NEVER too old to get your Mum to pick you up from the train station when you are so drunk you can barely move! Thank you Mummy :)

And so endeth the Christmas party for another year. The photos will go up on our works chatter site and we will groan and laugh about the antics for days to come, and now I shall remain sober until Christmas!

Now, please sit back, relax and enjoy a cake I made for a friends son's 9th Birthday. He loves football!

Shared maternity leave?...... Are you mental???? ......... and my first ever christmas cake

Is Nick Clegg off his rocker? or his rocking horse? He thinks he has come up with a brilliant way of allowing women to still have the choice of being a "career" woman or a "mother". Well, funny you should mention that Nick, because actually, women do still get that choice now, and taking 3 months to a year off work following birth doesn't change their future.

But by April 2015, Nick has suggested that mothers will automatically get their 18 weeks of statutory paid leave but then couples can decide who takes the remaining 34 weeks (16 of which is paid) between them. 

Additionally, irrelevant of the choice above, fathers can get an extra four weeks paternity pay (statutory) to be taken at any time and spaced out if necessary throughout the year.  This is known as the "daddy month" and actually, this works! 

The problem most couples find at the moment, is that the first couple of weeks after a baby is born, assuming that the birth has gone well and everyone is home safe and sound, the baby generally tends to sleep a lot. I know when mine came home (especially Lucy, who was discharged with me 24 hours after my c-section), there was a lot of sleeping being done, and not just by the babies! Lovely to have hubby home for a couple of weeks, but he did take the opportunity to have little cat naps when the babies were too. Nice for him, it didn't really matter so much for me as there was little else to do (once I'd instructed him on washing colours, what can be tumble dried and how to read the cooking instructions on the ready meals). So given the chance for him to take his paternity leave later in the year, I might have gone for that option and he could have helped out around the 6 month mark when I was returning to work.  

Paternity leave however is so very very different from MATERNITY leave. 

When my first child, Molly was born, I was lucky. The company i was working for had a fantastic maternity pay policy and I was able to take almost a full year off work and be paid a decent amount for the most of it. My 2nd I was on statutory maternity pay, so I had little choice but to return back to work after 6 months.  

If I had shared those 6 months with my husband, not only would we be a lot worse off financially, as he earns more than I do, but I would also miss out on that special time a mother has bonding with her child, and, I'm not kidding anyone here, that special time a mother has doing coffee mornings and bonding with other friends who aren't at work!

This may sound like a dig at men, but really its a reality check, and not just basing this on my own darling husband, but on all my friend's husbands too (maybe bar one, who is one of the best mothers I know). Men are lovely, and there is no denying that they love their children as much as we mothers do, but genetically, THEY CAN'T MULTI-TASK.

Think to the odd days where hubby has been home with baby Lucy all day. Hmmm....  I've come back from a busy day at the office (despite taking my maternity leave I still have a fabulous job that pays well and which I love). Daddy and baby are sitting on the couch. Lucy is in a different outfit to the one I dressed her in that morning, daddy is still in his Pyjama's. He looks stressed.

"Did you have a fun day" I ask, knowing full well that the days i'm not working are fun-filled and VERY busy.

"Well..." it starts "By the time she had poo'd through her first outfit, and i changed her, it was snack time, but then she got food down her top so I changed her again, and then we watched some TV and I took her out in the car to fall asleep. We got back and I had a little nap too because I was so tired. Then we had lunch and played in the lounge a bit and now you're home"

"Oh ok, did you put a wash on then with all her mucky clothes? and did you get a chance to empty the dishwasher? and whats for supper?"

Blank look... "I've been busy. The baby hasn't let me do anything all day"  and that is generally how it goes.

Look at it the other way round, this is a day in the life of me on my non-working day - 

Wake up the same time as if I was going to work
Get me and the girls washed and dressed before going down for breakfast
Do school reading, get snack ready and check Molly has everything she needs for school.
Saddle up both girls and take Molly to school. Chat to the other mums, feeling chilled and happy to see my friends.
Go home with Lucy, check my emails - both work and personal, as there is a lot of work stuff going on at the moment. Give Lucy a banana to keep her quiet whilst I make a work call.
Do a quick PTA letter and we both go back over to school to get it printed out
Pop off to play group. Drink my first cup of coffee of the day and chat to friends whilst Lucy plays with their kids and other people's toys. Make sure she has a good feed at snack time. I know that she'll sleep in the car on the way home.
pop to the local shops, we ALWAYS need milk, butter, cereal etc.
Lucy falls asleep on the half mile journey home.
Put her to bed, decorate a fruit cake, wrap some christmas presents, empty the washing machine, put the tumble drier on and non tumble clothes on the radiator, empty the dishwasher and think about what to make for dinner that evening. Realise I forgot something at the shops.
Lucy wakes up, we have a cuddle and I make her lunch. A friend pops in for tea and to try my home made pies. She is impressed.
Walk back over to school to collect Molly and have another chat with the mums about how nice our days have been so far.
Put girls straight in the car, with a sandwich for Molly. Head to the supermarket. Buy everything I'd forgotten to get that morning and head home.
Make the girls supper and do reading with Molly. Check my emails again.
Put the telly on after all that, and Daddy comes home.......

Please do correct me if i'm wrong but my day is the sort of day only a mother could handle, and still smile at her husband when he get's home and not be so tired that you can't have a bit of play time later on! Oo-er missus.

THAT is why I would NEVER let my husband take paternity leave without my supervision by his side, and I'd rather if he took time off, it was annual leave so he would still get a day's pay for it.

Nick Clegg, you're not really in touch with reality are you? You're assuming that women who take maternity leave cannot go back to high powered jobs, but so many of my friends return after a year off work to their Director and senior management positions. its not a problem of maternity leave, but a problem of some companies flexible working policies.

Anyway, despite all the mothering I do, I will always find time to bake a cake, and I have finally decorated my first ever christmas cake! I can't wait for Boxing Day when we'll be at my mums and I can start on it!

Another one about diets .. and celebrities... and a lovely cake!

So I've returned to the issue of diets after having read a lovely article in some trashy magazine (well I was in the hair dressers after all) about twitter trolls targeting Jennifer Ellison (I think she was in Brookside) for being fat and ugly 12 (TWELVE) weeks after giving birth.
For a non celebrity mother, that is no time at all, and I was muttering to myself that it was outrageous that people could be so ignorant, naive and rude about someone.
This happens all the time with celebrities, they get scrutinised every time there is a photo printed of them but everyone, not just the nasty trolls but, tell me you haven't commented on a celebrities looks. Its normal! If the picture is put in front of you of course you're going to judge it. We are human after all!

So I was thinking poor Jenni, she's really getting some stick, people should leave her alone, after all she is a beautiful woman no matter her size -

and then I looked at the pictures again in the magazine (and for the life of me i'm trying to find them online to show you) and I thought... if I was insecure about my weight I would not wear a bikini on holiday. I would cover a little more up and go for a swim suit, and if I was feeling really really insecure I would wear a sarong or a loose top! The photo in the magazine was a family pic. Mr Jennifer Ellison was wearing long shorts and a shirt, little kiddie was wearing shorts and t-shirt and the only one in the bikini was Jenni herself.

Then my little lightbulb struck up - "EXACTLY" I shouted to my hairdresser. She's not insecure at all! She loves her body and is showing it off to her husband, knowing full well that she is being papped at the same time.  The media have probably been given this picture and have made their own article up about her losing her baby weight. She's happy, confident and above all this time round not suffering from post natal depression.

Then I looked through the rest of the magazine and a few more. There are curvy girls from TOWIE (I have no idea who they are though) are beautiful but they really don't wear much do they? Headlines screeching "So and So on a diet", "So and So has put on 5lbs shock horror" but all of these girls are parading around for all to see and clearly love themselves. So why the pressure? Why the constant barrage of abuse and comments. Why don't we all say. "look at so and so, she's got a skimpy bikini on, bet she gets herself a new bloke wearing that!!"

Here's another couple of celebs who's weight fluctuates but they will still go out and show themselves off because they know they are beautiful!

I could find many more, but the message of today's blog, is that celebrities are normal woman who spend a lot of time infront of cameras. Many of the normal ones have fluctuating weight and many of them would rather enjoy eating normal food and doing normal things but are told by their managers and agents they are not allowed!

As a non celeb, we are so lucky that we can do WHAT THE HELL WE LIKE, wear what we want, eat what we want, do what we want. Remember that as your farting your way through the cabbage soup diet, or people are avoiding your stinky breath on Atkins, or if you're permanently counting points for weight watchers and slimming world.  People who don't diet, eat sensibly and go out with their friends and have a lot more fun!

Oh and todays cake was a lovely cake I made for my friends son's birthday. Double layer blue and green sponge with an abundance of dolly mixtures.

An ode to Christmas shopping.... and an amazing cake!

It is November and cold outside
So I have allowed myself some time to abide
The start of shopping for Christmas time
And thus begins my little rhyme.

As a list writer and money-saving fan
my preparation began with a full-price ban
to get the best deals I did shop around
and bargains galore have now been found!
Sorry dear friends no tat for you
I'd rather make cakes to share, that's true
Its just family I'm buying for this year
There's not point in having a bill so dear

Lets start with the children, they take up most space
and money and objects that fill up the place.
Their list for Santa is a mile high
as adverts on telly tell me to buy
A robotic fish, a toy dog that poos
and Cillit Bang to clean the loos.
The kids aren't fussy, they like the jingles
they'd be happy even if I just bought the singles
Of songs that tell them to buy these things
and not forgetting the fairy with wings
The reviews are crap but what can you do
Peer pressure dictates we must comply too.

Thus most of the budget is spent on the kids
its lucky that Ebay accepted my bids
and money was saved, although not quite as much
to buy my own present, I'm such a soft touch!
Siblings are relatively easy to buy for
A gadget, some music or films and more
Often on offer, a 3 for 2's great
You could buy them more things, you'd be their best mate.

My Parents I think I know quite well
They've been around a long time, an easy sell
I'll buy something that's missing from inside their home
that I want to see, not a garden gnome.
Something intelligent that makes me look good
Or perhaps I can borrow it, maybe I could?
If its shiny and metal they'll think its so cool
and how clever they are, they're nobody's fool

Modern technology for grandparents eh?
What would their old-fashioned friends all say!
Aunts and uncles they love their biscuits
A big selection tin is just the ticket
But lastly, not leastly are the in-laws.
Such careful though deserves applause
For buying them gifts within budget and style
To make Christmas shopping really worthwhile
I don't know their clothes size, don't know their taste
So different to mine, I don't want to waste
good time, effort, money on things that get stored
high up in the cupboard, forever ignored

So I ask my dear husband, what should I buy
He answers "I don't know, you're asking me, why?"
They are your parents, you know them so well
But you haven't a clue either, that I can tell
So we'll buy them some chocolate, a diary, a pen
Those things that went out in the 80's, back when
We didn't have internet, or all of these gadgets
we rely on now, such irritating habits

The dogs get a bone, some biscuits to chew
'though they'd be happy with wrapping paper between me and you
but here ends my story of Christmas shopping
Good luck with yours, wishing you all you want in your Stocking.

And let me end with the chocolate Pigs in Mud cake I made my brother for his birthday.
Went down a treat!!

How to choose a primary school ... and a cake with a little doggy on it!

Good day to all my lovely readers.

Today, after chatting to a number of friends with small pre-school age children I thought I'd give my advise and opinion on the best way to pick a Primary school for your children.

Its not often that I will publicly slate something or somewhere, I usually try and be open-minded to give everything the best chance, but in this instance I am happy to openly display my contempt for OFSTED and explain why their reports should hold very little value to your choice of schooling.

In the region where I live, there are a number of Primary schools, at least 9 in the space of two small towns that I can think of. Of these 9 schools, 8 of them are really, really very good.  The 9th one possibly is good, and i've heard nice things about the teaching staff, but no one that I know has ever put it down as a choice for their child.

So lets retrace our steps a little bit. A couple of years ago I went through the same process myself of choosing a school. I found it all very easy, because I live about 10 yards from the school I chose for my daughter and I knew I liked it before I moved into my house!  But going through the process, you would normally look for the following:
1. How far away is the school from my home?
2. How good is the OFSTED report?
3. what are the other children like?

Not a bad process but I would, in the light of day now REMOVE point number two, and this is why....

OFSTED is a bully. OFSTED knows nothing about teaching and OFSTED has predefined ideas of how it will grade a school before its set foot onto the premises.
The role of OFSTED is supposed to grade schools as to their teaching methods, whether they fit in with government rules and how well in general the children are developing. However, there are a number of schools around the country, where the children are not developing as per their peers, and this is down to any number of reason from style of teaching, quality of teachers, background of children (parents make quite a difference to how a child learns), religion, nationality etc.
In the case of the last two possible reasons - religion and nationality, we run the risk as a country, that if we slate these schools and mark them lower than neighbouring schools, we will be called racists.  I am no way racist, and talking about race and religion does not make me racist, but it cannot be overlooked that a school in England, where none of the children's first language is English, is not going to do as well against the school guidelines as a school where children speak English at home. Fact! There are state schools in England that have no English children, there are state schools of various religious background where teachers have different views to the government, and put their views before the government views when teaching the children.
So that we don't upset our peers, a number of good state schools outside of the above categories have been marked down so that the other schools don't look quite so bad.
This in turn is a direct reflection on the good teachers at these schools, who work so hard to educate our children, love teaching our children and watching them develop and progress, but are bullied into a state of emotional stress, thus of course affecting their work, purely based on a pre-defined decision.  This is PC at its worst, whereby genuinely good, honest staff are being penalised for no reason.

I'm not only picking on religious and schools with English being the minority.  Back to the 9th school in my area. Until very recently, 8 of the 9 schools were single form entry. 30 children per year.  Two years ago, one good performing school was told they HAD to increase their entry for just one year to 60 children. They've not been asked to do this again.

Last year, the school that no one puts down on their choice of schools received planning permission for building works to extend the school massively, in order to accommodate a 2nd form entry every year going forward. This started in 2013. "But" I hear you say, "You said no one wants to go there!"

Now, I don't want to sound like Katie Hopkins (and I can't believe I've just given her some publication on my own blog!), and I'm not at all a snob in the slightest, but my reason, and from what I can tell the reason for a lot of friends for not choosing this school as an option was simple.  I looked at the school at pick up, and thought, do I want my children spending the next 7 years with children who's mothers stand outside the school, fag hanging out of their mouths, language that I wouldn't even use at a football match shouting across the street, and the dress sense of a couch potato who hasn't quite managed to get up to get washed and dressed yet.  Call me what you like but I spend a lot of time teaching my kids right from wrong, and however much I like to swear, I certainly save that for the office and the car when I'm on my own. I groom my children as best I can (yes, my best clothes DO still come from Tesco though) and I also make them eat fruit and veg.  I want them to continue with this and I don't want them to continually ask me why they have to eat fruit when others around them are only eating chocolate or KFC. I don't want to hear swearing from their little innocent mouths and if being completely honest, I don't want them to start smoking... EVER.  Unfortunately, the impression I got from this 9th school was that. I might be wrong, and I know that I am being very generic and I'm sure there are a number of fantastic families at this school, whose children and lovely and polite and well-behaved. But in this case I'd rather be in the majority.  In a school where parents are less interested in their children's education, you do of course run a greater risk of a problem with bullying Yes, it happens everywhere, but in a school where parents know what is going on, and are actively interested in their kids, this is more likely to be nipped in the bud before it gets too bad.

So how does the government persuade parents to put this school down as their choice? OFSTED reports.  This school, at its last report (2012) got Satisfactory across the board. The grading has now been changed, so that what previously was Satisfactory is now "Requires Improvement". If you are not sure of a school and how it is operating, and therefore relying on OFSTED to give you this vital information, Satisfactory seems much more positive than requires improvement doesn't it? If I were to choose a school only on paper, then I would certainly go for this option, and with a brand new school building, its got to be popular to require the extra space? Right? so so SO very wrong.

So as I mentioned earlier, when you are putting your three or four choices down for your children's primary school, look at the area around you, and then go for a walk  between 3pm and 3.30pm and see if you like the look of the other mothers, see what the language is like, and most importantly, see if the children are smiling.

One last note on the mothers thing before I move on to my cake of the day - you will be spending 7 years with these other women. Get a good bunch and you stand to have a fabulous social life with them too, its not just the children who make friends at school, its us Mums too (and Dads lets not forget!).

Ok, so today's cake was a birthday cake for my American boss who is missing little Sam, his Bassett Hound. So I made him a chocolate banana nut tray bake, and tried to recreate Sam on it! What do you think?

A review of the Cinnamon Square Patisserie Making course

DO IT DO IT DO IT! Actually don't do it because I want to be the tart expert of Rickmansworth! ;)

So I went on my first Cinnamon Square course last Thursday. There were six of us in total. Me and 5 guys, a friendly bunch and we all introduced ourselves over a cup of whatever we wanted ( I started with a coffee to keep me awake, but I wouldn't have needed it, had I known how good the course was going to be). We then moved into the "classroom" and Paul introduced himself and asked us about ourselves. VERY funny when he looked at me and said "Have you done a course here before, you look very familiar" "No," I replied. "I didn't win the cake competition you judged at the library, remember? My friend won instead" He'll know better for next time now! ha ha.

So Paul explained to us how he makes his sweet short pastry. Not one for the faint hearted or maybe weak hearted, but then everything in moderation. LOTS of butter with the flours and sugars,  and Paul was very good at explaining how and why and how long and what ifs. AND wow what a fantastic mixer! Take your average Kenwood and increase it about 5 fold. I WANT ONE OF THOSE please!! It was great.
Once we had our pastry mixed we played with it and rolled it out for our ten pastry cases. This was probably the most tricky bit of the whole course. A really good short pastry should be difficult to handle. Well ours was. The more difficult, the nicer the taste!  We then sent our 10 pastry cases of various sizes (8 actually because the chocolate ones were already prepared for us) with a truly lovely lady called Mae who was so careful not to mix anyone's cases up and so many little name tags dotted around everywhere.

Whilst the pastry was baking or half baking we set to work on the following amazing fillings. I'm not going to give the game away of how we made them but we got instruction papers with each one to do at home as well. -
Chocolate ganache (oh my god, and the size of the bag of chocolate buttons Paul had for his baking - and that we were allowed to eat as much of it as we wanted)
Lemon curd, for want of a better word. I'm totally addicted to it now
Creme Patisserie, made the PROPER way with extra yum
Frangipan - and whilst making the frangipan, we were also given so many amazing tips on how to get a perfect mix on a sponge cake for a Victoria Sponge. Paul was so generous with his information, all the Cinnamon Square secrets were being shared with us.

And so we made
2 Tarte au Chocolat filled with chocolate ganache and topped with as much chocolate as we wanted to add, or cocoa powder decorations, "HELP YOURSELF" Paul kept saying!
2 Tarte au Citron - definitely my new favourite with home made lemon curd which I shall be making and freezing as soon as I get rid of that savoury crap in my freezer.
2 Strawberry frangipans - I can't believe I made proper Bakewell Tarts. Move over Kipling, I can even ice the same as you. You are NOTHING to me now, we are so OVER. I'm going home made all the way!
3 Raspberry Frangipans - I have so many more friends now wanting to pop in for a coffee and a cake. I wonder what James would think if I turned the kitchen/dining room into a mini café
and the Piéce de resistance a Creme Patisserie filled large tart complete with as much fruit (and I really mean as MUCH) as we wanted or could fit on!  The other guys did get quite extravagant with their fruits, Paul had everything from Figs, plums, strawberries, raspberries, blue and black berries, grapes and so on. I kept it a little calmer because I wanted to make something that Molly and Lucy would tuck into, so it was predominantly strawberries and grapes with a fig in the middle for yours truly.

We overran, probably because being the only woman, I started questioning Paul on his life and experiences and had to mention soggy bottoms when no one else had. They all knew EXACTLY what I was on about. But the time had flown so fast.

Not happy with just the ten tarts to take home, we were also told that the foil containers that we baked in could be reused - I have the materials I need to make these at home, and we packaged our tarts up in boxes, as you would expect if you had bought cakes from Cinnamon Square made by a professional baker. It was the best going home package I have ever taken home from anywhere.

As I mentioned, Paul was an excellent teacher, a lovely person and very clever and talented baker. Mae was just lovely, very friendly, very welcoming (kept offering drinks, and always smiling).  My baking friends were Allen and Jeff. A bit like me (except very old and balding and men), they bake at home but hadn't done much pastry. There was Levi and Matthew, the gayest couple in Rickmansworth to be sure (no socks with your black brogues and women's fashion designers and Ivan (not a Russian) who was certain he was going to win next years GBBO. I will route for you because your local Ivan, if you get on, but I don't think my money will be on it mate!

And so thus ended my lovely evening at Cinnamon Square, and happy to add Tarts to my repertoire of baking for friends and family and complete strangers. Put your orders in now for your pre christmas discount!

I MADE ALL OF THESE....

Having a hobby is key to a positive lifestyle

Life is busy. Work and family take up so much time and I so often hear people complaining that they never get a minute to themselves, and whilst we may love the time we have with our families, especially watching young children growing up, and some people really do love their jobs and put as much effort into them as they do their families, its is vital to also have something you can turn to, to release those tensions, take your mind off any worries and generally have quality "me time!" (sleeping doesn't count as a hobby!)

Stress is one of the biggest causes of serious illness in the western world, and there are so many things that can be done to reduce it and prolong life, in an enjoyable way. If you think you are stressed, but don't have time to live let alone do something for yourself, its time to re-evaluate the situation.

A hobby is a regular activity that is done for pleasure (the key here). It doesn't have to cost anything, it doesn't have to be done in a group of weirdo's at 9pm at night in the local community centre (unless you choose to of course) but it is done by YOU and doesn't involve your daily routine.

My hobby, you would never guess, is baking! I just LOVE it, and will try and do it every week, not only to make a delicious cake to eat, but also to improve my baking and decorating skills, show them off to friends and family, and you never know I may even get a few commissions out of it to make celebration cakes for people. I can usually find the time to bake, whilst at home with the children. I set them up to play or watch telly in the other room and I know they are out of the way, safe and I can concentrate on my "me time", and they get to lick the bowl afterwards so they don't mind me leaving them to their own devices!

Easily done, at home, no childcare needed and my only cost is my ingredients.  My other hobby is Ice-skating. Something that I can't always do as and when I want to, but again, I will make the time, usually at lunch time during work. I know if I can get to the rink in time, I can have half an hour to myself on the ice, or even a lesson, and be back to work without anyone being any wiser!

If you don't know what you want to do as a hobby, try out different classes and events. Its so easily done and so many classes can also be found at massive discounts on the likes of Groupon and Wowcher. I have friends who have done Pole Dancing, cake pop making, macaroon making, tapastry, ballet, climbing, singing, dancing, acting as well as the usual sports and gym, wine... sorry I mean book clubs and collecting!

Some of the strangest hobbies in the world include one guy who video's and photographs himself playing dead. Apparently he's had over 32 million hits on his website and by day is a married man with 6 kids!

Or you could try being the person in every live TV shoot. I've seen the guy myself on the news (Paul Yarrow of South London). This one is about being in the right place at the right time!

There are also some very generous people who's hobbies are to give money to total strangers who look like they need it! Come over here mate.. I could do with a tenner!

Other than having time to yourself to pursue hobbies, one of the main purposes to boost your lifestyle is that you have something to talk to others about.  Hobbies of all shapes and sizes are positive conversation topics and positive, upbeat conversation leads to enthusiasm, excitement, enjoyment and that lust for life that we all need.  People love to know what others get up to in their spare time. If we didn't we wouldn't have so many reality TV programmes and if you are the person who can give little time and information. It doesn't have to be rocket science, it doesn't have to be a hobby that no one else does. If you like to knit scarves, or collect stamps, do puzzles, play football, you will always be asked about it. Go on, give it a go!

As a mini N.B. though, I wouldn't recommend listing ALL your hobbies on your CV. It can sometimes look like you don't have time for your day job. Leave that to coffee machine chats once you've got your job!


And Finally, sorry there is no cake this week, but that will DEFINITELY change tomorrow evening, as I'm going on a Patisserie making course. I will of course update with photos of my creations and let you know how tasty they were!

If you have any odd hobbies, do list them below to share with others!

10 things you never knew you could do until you had kids!

On reflection of some things I've been doing lately with my girls, I thought I would post something for any expectant or soon to be expectant parents, and for those parents who have done these, hopefully a good reflection! Let me know your thoughts.

1. Making things with play dough and other annoying stuff that gets stuck in the carpet.

For me Playdough is the bane of my life! I HATE the stuff. Not only does it stick too much, it gets stuck in carpet and clothes, and worst of all, you can't eat it (well, my husband says you can but you're not meant to). However, on reflection of being forced to sit for hours with my kids and make shapes, I can actually make a little cat, a sort of stubby legged horse and ducks are quite easy too! For someone that got GCSE Art grade C purely by fluke this is a great achievement. If you've not done it yet, try it ..

2. Living on little or no sleep

My children are the best things in the whole world, I adore and worship them, but for the past 5 and a half yeras, I've not had a proper nights sleep! Teething! If I tell myself its teething (them not me) I can quite happily put up with it. Occasionally, I need to take a day off work purely to sleep and recharge but otherwise generally, I, and a lot of my friends are quite happy to go out for a coffee or to a toddler group on three hours sleep! God bless caffeine.

3.Being a Doctor

You don't need 5+ years of medical training to be able to diagnose a child's illness. You just need your own child. Easy as pie! Admittedly, there are two schools of thought on the doctor front, those parent doctors who diagnose every childhood illness going (slapped cheek, hand foot & mouth, chest infections, high temperature) all of which are cured by Calpol and baby Nurofen, and those who diagnose everything (I might be guilty of this one) as TEETHING! (Red cheeks, high temperature, snotty nose, chesty cough). Either way Calpol and baby Nurofen are again the answer. Of Course, for other problems there is A&E, where they might just give a slightly more professional opinion.

4.Making meals look like a picture

Slap it on the plate, it all tastes the same anyway...... NO STOP!!! Children like their food to resemble "things". I found out recently, that I can turn a plate of scrambled egg with cheese and ham into a Viking Ship complete with fish, sharks and clouds (a little artistic license required here please). Happy faces are really

easy for pasta, wraps and pizza and with a little imagination ANYTHING can be turned into anything! See Charlie and Lola for inspiration.

5.Permanent Role playing

We go through childhood, we play games, we run around the garden pretending to be cowboys, Indians, princesses etc. then we grow up and it is SO uncool, then we become adults and the pretending is restricted to the bedroom.....
but then KIDS happen! My favourite game is when Molly says to me, as she's walking around with her baby in her pushchair, and Lucy has to be the pet dog, "Mummy, pretend you're the mummy!" "but I am the mummy" "no, pretend your my mummy" "but I am, so can I get on with doing what I was doing before?" "No, you have to do what I tell you!"  Better to be the mummy than the witch or the baby though, because they do NOT get treated well by 5 year olds!!

6. Loving multiple children equally

This was my biggest fear when I became pregnant with my second child, and I spent most of my 9 months worrying if I would love the new baby. I adore my eldest so much, yes she is quite spoilt, but that is because she is so brilliant, and so much fun to be around. In my eyes she is near on perfect, so how could another child match up to that? Having a second child? DO NOT WORRY. Its as easy to fall madly in love with the 2nd, 3rd, 4th and dog as it is the first. You have enough love inside you to equally adore all your children (and sometimes your spouse) without any sacrifice. Phew!

7 .Explaining life, stars, war, the news

Having never been a big fan of watching the news (I find it quite depressing) and therefore not fully keeping up to date with what is going on, and having forgotten my school science, history and geography lessons because I don't need them in my job or pub talk, I was very worried about the questions I might be asked by my kids.  You don't want to let them, or more importantly, yourself down do you? But again don't worry. You will find the answers to the questions you ask in a tiny little compartment somewhere in the back of your brain.  Questions like "are there other people on other planets? and what is a planet?" and some questions that you know the answer to but need to put in children's terms "what is war?" why is that man's face on the TV?" (because he just murdered a whole bunch of people is not a good answer before bedtime). Those child-friendly answers will surface and you can pat yourself on the back and apply for that teachers role, because actually you have just discovered a hidden talent you didn't know was there.

8. Defying of the odds of getting that stain out

Pre children - if you got curry or wine on your top, what are the chances you would either bin it (if its not your favourite) or put it in the back of your wardrobe not to be worn again.  Well children spill everything down everything they wear, and from experience all of these stain removers do not work well. However, as a parent we will try and try and ask our mums and neighbours for their advice and magically, most stains can be removed with a bit of elbow grease and a few washes.  What really makes me laugh (or mad, I cant remember which) is the adverts for the likes of Vanish and other stain removers always use things THAT CAN BE WASHED OUT WITH WASHING POWDER as their stains of choice... Oooh look, little billy has ketchup down his t-shirt, and Sarah-Jane has strawberries on her dress, and look baby Chloe has leaked out of her nappy. Best use a very expensive stain remover TWICE to get rid of it.... or bung it in the washing machine with your powder/liquid of choice and ta-da the stain will disappear.  For some of the more tricky ones, the old wives tales work best. Bicarb of Soda, white wine (if you drink enough you won't see the stain) and as a last resort - give it to your own mum!

9.Appreciate your own parents

Adolescence is a time for hating EVERYTHING your parents do, they are only there to make your life a misery, to embarrass you in front of your friends and constantly nag at you to do things you quite frankly cannot be bothered to do. Reference KEVIN from Harry Enfield show for those of you old enough! And then children come along, and suddenly, although you still know best (your parents are getting on a bit after all, and what they did in their day is sooooooo not what we do nowadays) you might just give Mum a call to ask her a quick questions regarding parenting, or a quick email to Dad to get him to check something out for you, and then of course if you're lucky enough to have your parents local there is always a little babysitting that could be asked for (fantastic grandparents time with the kids, despite that the kids are meant to be asleep), hot meals when you really forgot to get anything in, and of course impromptu presents for the children (vests the minute the sun goes down, because you haven't pre-bought in the winter wardrobe and little outfits "that were so cute and had bobby's name written all over them" - not literally). There used to be a children's clothes shop in Chorleywood that was so expensive, even the half price sale was out of my reach. My wonderful mother used to go in there, just on the off-chance there might be an Oilily dungaree outfit for one of the girls, or another leather jacket for my nephew, but even she thought it was a rip off. She asked the owner once how she kept in business being so expensive - "we mostly sell to grandparents like yourself" she said "easy market!" and how true she was... although she's now closed down.  I adore my mother for everything she has done for me as an unappreciative teenager to a very appreciative parent myself, and the local florist is quite pleased of my appreciation for her too!

10. Have patience

I am NOT a patient person. I have no intolerance for dawdlers or blatant stupidity, or even  people driving at 50 miles an hour in the fast lane. I worried about this before I had children, but now I find, that to a point (and not a massive point really) I have become more patient. I will wait whilst the children try and put their own shoes on (admittedly my 5 year old is great at this, its just the asking her three times to do it that takes the time), or eating one strain of spaghetti at a time, reading when they are so tired they can barely see the book, and as my children are quite spoilt for attention, waiting for them (especially little Lucy) to fall asleep before I can go back downstairs and watch a bit of grown up telly.  Maybe my patience with my children has meant that I've become less patient with other things (can't believe it takes a whole three minutes to heat up peas in the microwave... ugh) and people ( but my job is quite a parenting role anyway, so the guys in the office can take a bit of shouting at now and then).

These are all things I never thought I could do before my beautiful children came along but surprisingly fall into place without any practice.  Please feel free to add any of your own!

Today's cake photo is a little disappointing for me. Although as its Halloween I am using the excuse that THEY ARE MONSTERS and monsters are not meant to be symmetrical. Cake pops require patience (which I didn't have at the time) and candy melts (which I also didn't have)... I know they are still going to taste great and hope the kids enjoy them at the party later!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!

A lifecoach's guide to friends (not the TV show thank you) and Halloween cakes.

They say you can't choose your family but you can choose your friends, and I know from experience that I have chosen some of the best friends I could possibly choose. They are funny, pretty (not that it really matters), smart(ish), caring, kind, there when I need them, they know far too much information about my personal life and they wouldn't think twice about popping round to my Mum's for a cuppa if they were in the area.
That has got to be the best combination of friendship you could ask for.

But what people tend to forget, is that a friendship is not far off a relationship (usually without the "special cuddles"), and relationships aren't always destined to last, but unlike a romantic relationship, which would have a beginning (do you wanna go out with me?) and an end (its not you, its me!), friendships don't go that way, and so when a friendship starts to dwindle it can be a very hard time for both sides to realise that the friendship is coming to an end and its time to move on.
Also, unlike relationships, friendships are harder to come by. You can't just look for a single person to be your friend. Friends have lots of other friends (sometimes) and require a little more legwork than a simple first date, but at the same time, don't need that much pre-approach research (doesn't matter what they do for a living, if they went to college, if your Dad will approve).

The main difference between a friendship and a relationship is that decisions are usually jointly made in a relationship. Shall we move in together, shall we get married, are you REALLY going to go out wearing THAT????, shall we get a puppy or have a child.... all these decisions are made jointly and thus cause little surprise to either party.... but this is where a friendship can fail.  Many friendships fear CHANGE and change can lead to JEALOUSY.

When a friend is Jealous, it is time to say bye bye and move on to pastures new, but how often do we NOT do this!
A true friend isn't jealous of you. They are envious, or sometimes if you have something they want, they can just come and take it (ooh nice Jimmy Choos, just in my size too). They are proud of your achievements, adore your children, listen to your woes of work, love your husband like a brother, but hate him for that nasty comment he made about your new clothes, and what they say about your inlaws...... well, best we don't go there, hey!

Look at the friends you have around you. Do they meet the above criteria? Yes? Then fantastic, you've got yourself a winner. Not sure? Use my checklist below to see if you have a true friend or a jealous friend (and please note that people who are jealous of you are not actually your friends) -

SCENARIO                                              TRUE FRIEND                                           JEALOUS FRIEND
You announce you're engaged        "I'm going to be a bridesmaid"                      "So we wont have time to                                                                                                                                                                               go out any more?"

You book the wedding                     "I'll wear whatever you want me to"             "I'm really not a fan of                                                                                                                                                                                  pink/green/red..."

you get a big rise at work                   "Great, lunch is on you!"                             Nothing... they can't think of                                                                                                                                                                        anything positive to say

Your pregnant                                   "aarrgghh i'm going to be an aunty!"             "I'm pregnant too"/"My                                                                                                                                                                             neighbour's first cousins                                                                                                                                                                             friend is pregnant too"
My Husband has done something    "what a tosser! Lets cut up all his          "But he was really nice to
dreadful                                                          pants"                                                  me the other day!"
                                                                                                          
My baby is talking at 9 months           "ha ha, what a blabber mouth"               "Well mine can play the                                                                                                                                                                                 piano and anyway its not                                                                                                                                                                            good to talk too early!"

And so on and so forth.
But remember, its not just friends who can be jealous. It could be you too! Take a look at yourself and ask yourself if you're genuinely pleased for your friends; or do you wait for opportunities to slag off their latest purchase; smile when their child has been put in detention again; Secretly adore that they've put on a few pounds and clothes are struggling to fit. It might be time to reassess what you want from the friendship.  Think you can work at it? Invite them out to get horrendously drunk. It should end in tears at least - of joy and love or a big punch up. Either way you'll know where you stand at the end.

This blog doesn't relate to anything personal might I just add, rather from reading people's status' on Facebook and wanting to do my bit for charity, and making the world a nicer place for everyone, a little life coaching for a quiet weekday afternoon!

AND ON TO CAKE ...
well, I am proud to say I have diverted what could have been a total disaster (and a lot of scrummy useless chocolate cake). My first tray bake chocolate cake for the school Halloween party collapsed when I tried to take it out the tray. My attempt at Cake Pops failed miserably but I have redeemed myself with these little cake halloween bites

 And then I tried my cake bake again, this time remembering to line the tin (its the little things that make the biggest impact) and I'm quite pleased with my little spiders colony. Don't worry, they're not false widows :)

It pays to ask.... and it pays to be nice (no cake today though sorry!)

It makes me laugh, in a really annoyed way when people I speak to (friends and family) have this massive fear of confrontation relating to almost anything!!  I don't mean squaring up to someone in the pub because they looked funny at your drink, what I mean is the fear of asking people for things, before being offered.   Some things as simple, and he is going to hate me for saying this, but my husband has a quasi-phobia of calling for a takeaway!! He will ALWAYS offer to pay, and even go and pick it up if its not deliverable, but he will never phone to ask for the food in the first instance! I don't know if that's a man thing or not, because think of the times that men WON'T ask for directions. Its a sign of submission to the fact that you don't actually know everything! I love it. I think its hysterical.

Its not just the obvious things that people shy away from asking, but its things that can save you money, save you time, and get you freebies!
People who know me, know that I rarely pay full price when I don't have to. I shop in the offer section of the supermarket before topping up with my staples that may not be on offer. I collect coupons (not as good as extreme couponing in the States. If you've not seen that, OMG you should check it out, but unfortunately over here, our Supermarkets are too switched on to giving as many discounts and even PAYING people for their $1000 dollar supermarket shop. I positively DROOL over this programme, I could do a whole nother blog on that one day!!). What I find is funny, is that British people (mostly) are so reserved that they don't like to waste other people's time. "Oh I can't find my coupon in my huge bag, so don't worry about it!" God forbid you should take an extra 30 seconds of the shop assistants time to get your 20% discount, the other customers might get so pissed off with waiting for you, they lynch you in the car park!! Would that really happen? Surely the worst that would happen is a tut. People rarely do more than tut to show their disdain at your time-wasting! And how many times have you tutted in a long queue whilst someone decides they really do want their coupon/voucher.  Its payback time!!

We are a nation of complainers, anything we can complain about we will. Currently the cost of living is a very good one to start with. Prices have gone up, wages not necessarily. So what better time to start collecting those coupons and vouchers and also ASKING!  I don't wish to be smug (well maybe a little, otherwise I wouldn't be a blogger) but I had to pat myself on the back THREE TIMES this week for taking the initiative and not fearing the confrontation.
So, number one - I had a call regarding a meeting next week in west London. Immediately, my thoughts were, Oh God its going to take ages on the tube, but if I drive I know a road in Earls Court where I can park if I take £20 in pound coins. Then I thought,  big place I'm going to "Question, can you get me a parking place?" Answer "Oh, I'd need to check. I'll email you in a bit" My email came through two minutes later. Parking bay xx is booked for you! Just saved myself a possible £20 and a good two hours on my day! Hooray!

Number two - was browsing online for Christmas trees. Early I know, but I thought they'd be cheaper slightly out of season (we're talking plastic of course. I don't think a real tree would last that long). Found a website I'd not used before and the tree in question was £22 instead of £49. Bargain already, so I put it in my basket, went to check out and that, what I used to call, "annoying" box popped up - Live chat, can we help you with anything?
I'd noticed that P&P had come up around £4.99 and I instantly though, what do I need to spend to qualify for free P&P, so I asked Live Chat. Live Chat came back and said they didn't do free P&P on price amounts, but did I have a code I wanted to put in. I told Live Chat that I didn't have a code and I'd not submitted to payment yet because I was new to the site and still trying to work out if I could get a discount. Live Chat there and then said "Would you like a code for free P&P?" "Ooh yes please" was my reply and 20 seconds later I had further reduced the cost of my new Christmas tree by £4.99. Another pat on the back me thinks!!

The third pat on the back doesn't relate to asking, but I think I've given you enough ammunition now to go and try it for yourselves (please let me and the other blog readers know how you get on), but this time relates to being nice!  The feeling alone that you've unprompted made the effort to praise something or someone should be enough to put you in a good mood, but in this instance I really got a nice surprise.
I was rushing back from an Ice-skating lesson at work, and didn't have time to pop into town to buy my lunch from the usual sandwich shop or M&S, so I stopped at the Shell Petrol station and picked up a Chicken Sandwich there. I couldn't believe how tasty it was. It really was one of the best sandwiches I'd ever eaten. Every mouthful was a taste sensation and I was so impressed that I went online and Googled Shell sandwiches (they do have a brand of sorts) and sent them a message to say how amazing the sandwich was.  I got an email back within 24 hours, thanking me for my kind email and asking for my address, as Shell were re-branding and wanted to put customer comments on their sandwich boxes (I thought these things were always made up), I gave me address so I could sign the consent form for them to use my words and then just a couple of days later - a £5 voucher to use in a Shell station came through the letter box! What a nice surprise! Being nice really does pay. I dare any of you to try it with a different retailer, again let me know how you get on!

So this has been a pleasant money saving blog today, but I'm sorry I've not made any cakes yet this week. Hopefully going to try some cake pops at the weekend.

Diets are all a con.... and some gorgeous cupcakes!

Weightwatchers, Slimming world, Cambridge diet, Cabbage soup diet, Atkins, GI, Dukan, Lighter Life, 5:2 - we know them all! and probably another few dozen that we have tried at some point.  They all start of great, you lose about 4-6lbs in your first week and then you aim to lose about 1lb a week but at the same time anything from about £5 a week to £50 for some of the more "specialist" diets.
Occasionally these diets can be fun and bring you closer to other overweight people, especially if you have to give up an hour of your time every week to sit and listen to others about their weight-loss and the "science" behind it.
I remember once when I was at Uni, a close friend and I went to Weight Watchers together. One week we were dreading it, because we'd been to a party the night before, polished off a whole chocolate cake between us and quite a few bottles of wine. We both weighed in about 2lbs less than the previous week! Eh? How does that work? anyway, our teacher was so pleased, she had completely ignored what we told her about the party and made us the examples of good students that week. We paid her about £5 for the compliment.

Weightwatchers annual profit this year was $48million, actually down on last year but still a hefty old business to be part of!
So, I hear you ask. If diets are cons why is Weightwatchers doing so well? Exactly I scream excitedly down your ear, they are doing so well because YOU KEEP GOING BACK TO THEM.

Think about it. You get on the scales one morning and think, oh i'm fat and therefore i'm sad and unacceptable in society. I must do something about this! So you look at what the latest fad is, buy some magic "vitamins" from Amazon or Ebay, Acai berries will make me lose weight immediately. Wrong sort of pounds I'm afraid. For what you get you will lose more £ then Lbs (good source of vitamins though, as with most berries)
So then you go back to good old trustworthy Weightwatchers or Slimming World. They put you on a programme that means you can't stray or mix and match your diets, you MUST buy their products because otherwise you'll spend half your day calculating points that they won't actually tell you how to calculate.  You save points for your glass of wine with your dinner, or sacrifice dinner for a few glasses of wine down the pub, OR you sacrifice going out with all your friends because calculating the points in a restaurant or pub is far too confusing.
Straight away you are obsessing with food; what you're allowed, what you're not allowed. What the person sitting next to you on the train is eating; what your children are eating; everything on every aisle in the Supermarket. OH MY GOD EVERYWHERE I LOOK THERE IS FOOD AND I'M NOT ALLOWED IT! THEREFORE I WANT IT NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!!!!!

And the more you think about food, the more you beat yourself up about until BOOM. You're on your own in the car, house, office wherever and you have a couple of £'s on you and you hit the shop, and that share bag of Galaxy Bites, or that whole Cheesecake, large jar of Nutella and Family size pizza becomes YOURS and YOURS ALONE.  Up yours Weightwatchers, I'll diet again tomorrow because I've ruined today! Then you weigh yourself, get depressed. You've "ruined" all your hard work of denying yourself the things that you like.... and thus continues weight loss programmes. Tomorrow comes, but those forbidden foods are still calling you, and you will eventually crave and give in, put on all the weight you loss and start all over again! Good luck with that!

Ask yourself this, is life meant to be fun or a punishment? Is having a social life a good thing or a crime?
I've been there myself and done all of the above diets numerous times. Now I'm not on a diet. My latest plan is called
I LOVE MYSELF.  Its not pretentious, because you're not forcing it on others. Its free (apart from the two new dresses I bought myself the other week because I wanted to treat myself).

I went to visit an amazing life coach/weight management coach - Jacqueline Hurst NLP https://www.facebook.com/pages/Jacqueline-Hurst-NLP/151768384894843?fref=ts

She gave me the slap round the face I needed to wake up and realise life is passing by very quickly. (please note, she did not actually slap me round the face or physically assault me in any way at all) and after one session I stopped being on a diet.

Now, I live a normal life like all of those other people who don't diet - I eat when I am hungry, I stop when I am full. I can eat whatever the hell I like. Because I can eat WHATEVER I like, I don't need to buy share bags of chocolate, because they are there sitting in the shop waiting for the day when I feel like a large amount of chocolate. At the moment, I don't feel like it because I can!  I've not stopped eating chocolate, don't get me wrong, but I will eat a bit, and put the rest aside for another time.
As you know I LOVE baking cakes. I've stopped eating all the cake mixture from the bowl and spatula because its always going to be there, and I'm usually not hungry when I'm baking.
I've stopped eating my children's leftovers and what they drop onto the floor (I tried to use this as a great excuse for eating their food when I first went to see Jacqueline). I told Jacqueline that I HATE waste, and would rather see good food go in my tummy than the bin.  Simple response from Jacqui was "What is the difference between your tummy and the bin? The bin doesn't put on weight, but your tummy does, and is just a big bin anyway!"  That was one of the biggest realisations that I've not forgotten.  You and a bin and your bin is a bin, you choose where to put the waste.

I'm a much happier person in myself, and because of that I go out more, I buy new clothes but also I enjoy exercising (Got the bike in front of the telly, its my new couch).
When I go to friends' houses for a coffee and they get the biscuits out, its not a talking point any more. Its just a form of sustenance should I be hungry. If i'm not hungry I won't have a biscuit. I can walk past a bakery and not drool. I can look in the window at all the yummy pastries and cakes and think, which one would I like? Actually, I'm not hungry right now, if I'm hungry after lunch I'll come back and get one. Oh but I had such a lovely big soup for lunch that I'm full up and don't want one after all! Of course, there are times that I do want the cake and the chocolate and I have the cake and the chocolates and then I'll have my dinner in the evening, my breakfast the following morning, my lunch snacks and whatever else I want if I'm hungry.
For breakfast this morning I made myself quite a large bowl of fruit 'n' fibre because I always have a large bowl of cereal. Whilst eating it, I started to feel full, there were probably two spoonfuls left. They got binned!

When starting the whole process of loving yourself and doing what you want, it might be daunting to think that you're only going to want the naughty things. But go with it, have the naughty things, you'll soon realise that actually you're done with those and you'd rather a lovely juicy apple than a dozen bourbon biscuits, and when you get to that stage the feeling is awesome. Put the two together and see which one you take!

Finally, on the note of diets, especially for my Mummy friends who have done such amazing things like GIVING BIRTH and giving up their bodies for their children, take a look at yourself in the mirror, take a look at your gorgeous children and how much they worship you. Your partner loves you enough to want to make children with you, your friends love you because you are fun and sociable and like a laugh and maybe a drink too. LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO WORRY ABOUT TRYING TO BE SOMETHING YOU ARE NOT. Most pictures in magazines/internet are all airbrushed. We are all too naturally beautiful to need or want to airbrush our facebook photos so embrace that in yourself. Put a picture of yourself on FB and see how many like you get for it!

To finish off, as we are going to friends for supper tonight, I made some cakes to take with. Not sure what they taste like yet, as I mentioned I've not eaten the cake mix but there are chocolate cakes for the kiddies and another batch of Earl Grey for the grown ups. Obviously all can be mixed and matched, but check out my decorations. I'm VERY proud of my latest work :)