1. Making things with play dough and other annoying stuff that gets stuck in the carpet.
For me Playdough is the bane of my life! I HATE the stuff. Not only does it stick too much, it gets stuck in carpet and clothes, and worst of all, you can't eat it (well, my husband says you can but you're not meant to). However, on reflection of being forced to sit for hours with my kids and make shapes, I can actually make a little cat, a sort of stubby legged horse and ducks are quite easy too! For someone that got GCSE Art grade C purely by fluke this is a great achievement. If you've not done it yet, try it ..
2. Living on little or no sleep
My children are the best things in the whole world, I adore and worship them, but for the past 5 and a half yeras, I've not had a proper nights sleep! Teething! If I tell myself its teething (them not me) I can quite happily put up with it. Occasionally, I need to take a day off work purely to sleep and recharge but otherwise generally, I, and a lot of my friends are quite happy to go out for a coffee or to a toddler group on three hours sleep! God bless caffeine.
3.Being a Doctor
You don't need 5+ years of medical training to be able to diagnose a child's illness. You just need your own child. Easy as pie! Admittedly, there are two schools of thought on the doctor front, those parent doctors who diagnose every childhood illness going (slapped cheek, hand foot & mouth, chest infections, high temperature) all of which are cured by Calpol and baby Nurofen, and those who diagnose everything (I might be guilty of this one) as TEETHING! (Red cheeks, high temperature, snotty nose, chesty cough). Either way Calpol and baby Nurofen are again the answer. Of Course, for other problems there is A&E, where they might just give a slightly more professional opinion.
4.Making meals look like a picture
Slap it on the plate, it all tastes the same anyway...... NO STOP!!! Children like their food to resemble "things". I found out recently, that I can turn a plate of scrambled egg with cheese and ham into a Viking Ship complete with fish, sharks and clouds (a little artistic license required here please). Happy faces are really
easy for pasta, wraps and pizza and with a little imagination ANYTHING can be turned into anything! See Charlie and Lola for inspiration.
5.Permanent Role playing
We go through childhood, we play games, we run around the garden pretending to be cowboys, Indians, princesses etc. then we grow up and it is SO uncool, then we become adults and the pretending is restricted to the bedroom.....
but then KIDS happen! My favourite game is when Molly says to me, as she's walking around with her baby in her pushchair, and Lucy has to be the pet dog, "Mummy, pretend you're the mummy!" "but I am the mummy" "no, pretend your my mummy" "but I am, so can I get on with doing what I was doing before?" "No, you have to do what I tell you!" Better to be the mummy than the witch or the baby though, because they do NOT get treated well by 5 year olds!!
6. Loving multiple children equally
This was my biggest fear when I became pregnant with my second child, and I spent most of my 9 months worrying if I would love the new baby. I adore my eldest so much, yes she is quite spoilt, but that is because she is so brilliant, and so much fun to be around. In my eyes she is near on perfect, so how could another child match up to that? Having a second child? DO NOT WORRY. Its as easy to fall madly in love with the 2nd, 3rd, 4th and dog as it is the first. You have enough love inside you to equally adore all your children (and sometimes your spouse) without any sacrifice. Phew!
7 .Explaining life, stars, war, the news
Having never been a big fan of watching the news (I find it quite depressing) and therefore not fully keeping up to date with what is going on, and having forgotten my school science, history and geography lessons because I don't need them in my job or pub talk, I was very worried about the questions I might be asked by my kids. You don't want to let them, or more importantly, yourself down do you? But again don't worry. You will find the answers to the questions you ask in a tiny little compartment somewhere in the back of your brain. Questions like "are there other people on other planets? and what is a planet?" and some questions that you know the answer to but need to put in children's terms "what is war?" why is that man's face on the TV?" (because he just murdered a whole bunch of people is not a good answer before bedtime). Those child-friendly answers will surface and you can pat yourself on the back and apply for that teachers role, because actually you have just discovered a hidden talent you didn't know was there.
8. Defying of the odds of getting that stain out
Pre children - if you got curry or wine on your top, what are the chances you would either bin it (if its not your favourite) or put it in the back of your wardrobe not to be worn again. Well children spill everything down everything they wear, and from experience all of these stain removers do not work well. However, as a parent we will try and try and ask our mums and neighbours for their advice and magically, most stains can be removed with a bit of elbow grease and a few washes. What really makes me laugh (or mad, I cant remember which) is the adverts for the likes of Vanish and other stain removers always use things THAT CAN BE WASHED OUT WITH WASHING POWDER as their stains of choice... Oooh look, little billy has ketchup down his t-shirt, and Sarah-Jane has strawberries on her dress, and look baby Chloe has leaked out of her nappy. Best use a very expensive stain remover TWICE to get rid of it.... or bung it in the washing machine with your powder/liquid of choice and ta-da the stain will disappear. For some of the more tricky ones, the old wives tales work best. Bicarb of Soda, white wine (if you drink enough you won't see the stain) and as a last resort - give it to your own mum!
9.Appreciate your own parents
Adolescence is a time for hating EVERYTHING your parents do, they are only there to make your life a misery, to embarrass you in front of your friends and constantly nag at you to do things you quite frankly cannot be bothered to do. Reference KEVIN from Harry Enfield show for those of you old enough! And then children come along, and suddenly, although you still know best (your parents are getting on a bit after all, and what they did in their day is sooooooo not what we do nowadays) you might just give Mum a call to ask her a quick questions regarding parenting, or a quick email to Dad to get him to check something out for you, and then of course if you're lucky enough to have your parents local there is always a little babysitting that could be asked for (fantastic grandparents time with the kids, despite that the kids are meant to be asleep), hot meals when you really forgot to get anything in, and of course impromptu presents for the children (vests the minute the sun goes down, because you haven't pre-bought in the winter wardrobe and little outfits "that were so cute and had bobby's name written all over them" - not literally). There used to be a children's clothes shop in Chorleywood that was so expensive, even the half price sale was out of my reach. My wonderful mother used to go in there, just on the off-chance there might be an Oilily dungaree outfit for one of the girls, or another leather jacket for my nephew, but even she thought it was a rip off. She asked the owner once how she kept in business being so expensive - "we mostly sell to grandparents like yourself" she said "easy market!" and how true she was... although she's now closed down. I adore my mother for everything she has done for me as an unappreciative teenager to a very appreciative parent myself, and the local florist is quite pleased of my appreciation for her too!
I am NOT a patient person. I have no intolerance for dawdlers or blatant stupidity, or even people driving at 50 miles an hour in the fast lane. I worried about this before I had children, but now I find, that to a point (and not a massive point really) I have become more patient. I will wait whilst the children try and put their own shoes on (admittedly my 5 year old is great at this, its just the asking her three times to do it that takes the time), or eating one strain of spaghetti at a time, reading when they are so tired they can barely see the book, and as my children are quite spoilt for attention, waiting for them (especially little Lucy) to fall asleep before I can go back downstairs and watch a bit of grown up telly. Maybe my patience with my children has meant that I've become less patient with other things (can't believe it takes a whole three minutes to heat up peas in the microwave... ugh) and people ( but my job is quite a parenting role anyway, so the guys in the office can take a bit of shouting at now and then).
These are all things I never thought I could do before my beautiful children came along but surprisingly fall into place without any practice. Please feel free to add any of your own!
Today's cake photo is a little disappointing for me. Although as its Halloween I am using the excuse that THEY ARE MONSTERS and monsters are not meant to be symmetrical. Cake pops require patience (which I didn't have at the time) and candy melts (which I also didn't have)... I know they are still going to taste great and hope the kids enjoy them at the party later!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!
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