THE BIGMACHINES CHRISTMAS WORKS DO!!
I thought I'd write an entertaining little blog on my works Christmas do this year, as for a UK office as small as ours, the multi-culturalness of it all makes a fantastic albeit it not quite politically correct day out!
So in addtion to the above, there were a few British, an honorary German, a couple of tee-totallers and a few more drinkers!
We booked to eat at the Dickens Inn, in St. Katherine's dock. When I say we, I obviously mean me, as the control-freak Office Manager. I booked it for 1.30, because at my age, no one likes a really late night, but to be on the safe side, and assuming everyone would be late, I told them to get there for 1pm! How embarrassing for me then to arrive to find nearly all of them there before me!! And I had spent my whole train journey wondering how many pre-ordered and paid for meals I could eat if no one else turned up.
Maybe its an age thing again, but I thought the food was just awful! Mr Dickens (although it may not be owned by you any more, nor ever in the past come to think of it), just because you are catering for 18 people in one sitting, it doesn't mean you have to immediately swap all fresh foods for processed, extra salted crap! Especially when we only had three things to choose from in the first place! Luckily, I was the only person who admitted that the food was awful so I didn't embarrass myself this time by complaining (but maybe TripAdvisor might get a little review later). Between our starter and main, the wonderful Simon, Katie and Graham S (honorary German) created a quiz. It was hysterical. Serious general knowledge questions with fantastic forfeits for those of us who got them wrong. Asking an Italian to talk about baking non stop for a minute lead to some interesting facts (out of work hours of course), asking an Indian to hug his big French colleague was almost scary and trying to get the 100% British guy, who's not sure that he is British to pronouce Yacht properly definitely lightened the atmosphere. As did the drinks, courtesy of work, free flowing.
After the (disappointing) dinner (maybe I should become a restaurant critique, although I'm no good with really spicy foods, mushrooms, peppers and most posh things), we headed off to a pre-booked Karaoke bar, The Old School Yard. I'd booked this from 5-7pm. Our dear director had headed there early, as a delayed flight meant he missed out on dinner (at the delight of all the greedy buggers in my office). His words to me when he go to the bar were "I think i'm here but its scary". This was at 4 o'clock in the afternoon!
We went to join our poor scared director (he's the Korean one who said being asked to sing Gangnam style was indeed Racist!) to find the bar was closed. After banging on the door at 4.30pm we were told to come back at 5, when they would be open early for our karaoke party. We were all a little apprehensive at this point, but found a nearby bar which was very pleasant and no one was wielding knives in it. Safe for the non-londoners to drink in.
Back to Karaoke, now if you have any doubts and concerns as to whether people will join in, and you book a private room do NOT fear. Even the most teetotal of us all were jumping on the sofa's inflatable guitars in hand, oversized sunglasses (come on, its gotta be done at Karaoke) belting out tunes that only the 70's and 80's could have given us. It was a roaring success and I definitely would recommend it. The choice book wasn't that great, but once we started keying in anything that could be shouted, and a few cocktails were ordered (which brings me onto another complaint, hang on!) everyone sang and everyone almost lost their voices.
Now back to the cocktails, Mojito's I get. Apart from a little too much ice, they are refreshing tasty boozy and leave your breath minty fresh. Mai Tai, again a lovely fruity little number that can be drunk in the same way you would drink milk straight out of the bottle in the fridge if you thought no one was looking but JAGERBOMBS! What the hell????? Firstly, this Jagermeister is a strange spirit. It doesn't really have a taste, its not strong, its not aniseedy, its just, well, there! And not pleasant either. Bad enough on its own, so WHY OH WHY do you put the glass of Jagermeister in another glass with REDBULL! The most disgusting drink on this planet (even worse than rootbeer) and then tell your customer to neck it! I can't see how you can neck a drink with a glass in it. Talk about health and safety, never mind getting drunk and falling over, what about splintering your mouth with a broken shot glass you've just swallowed! Sorry guys, but I just don't get it!
We were kicked out of Karaoke at 7pm, following a lovely Secret Santa, gifts for all! Mostly inappropriate and definitely NOT politically correct, so well received by all. By now, no one was scared of Bermondsey and we marched proudly on to the next nearest bar, losing a few teetotallers on the way. It was getting very late though, it had gone 7pm and suddenly the age gap within the team was apparent. The youngsters, and childless ones hadn't noticed the time and were happy to continue drinking, the older ones, and I really now have to include myself amongst them, found a table and slumped. One more drink was bare-able, one more Jagerbomb sent us over the edge.
By 8.30pm we woke each other up and started the stumble to the train station. I had to put my dear friend David on his train to Paddington and then make my own way to the other platform for my Baker street train. I tried my hardest not to fall asleep on the train, I have NO idea if I succeeded or not but I found my way to Rickmansworth, and my wonderful mother was waiting for me! It doesn't matter how old you are, you are NEVER too old to get your Mum to pick you up from the train station when you are so drunk you can barely move! Thank you Mummy :)
And so endeth the Christmas party for another year. The photos will go up on our works chatter site and we will groan and laugh about the antics for days to come, and now I shall remain sober until Christmas!
Now, please sit back, relax and enjoy a cake I made for a friends son's 9th Birthday. He loves football!
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