Disney on Ice review

Well firstly a Merry in-between Christmas and New Year to you all. I hope Santa brought you what you wanted and you've gorged on everything you possibly can!  That has certainly been the case chez Noble. What a great Christmas it's been.

And to make it better, Molly (aged 5) and myself (aged something) took a trip to Disney on Ice at the O2 arena yesterday.

We set off early to enjoy our girls day out and what should have been an easy train ride, did actually take half an hour longer because of planned engineering works, but never mind, it didn't dampen the mood at all.
We arrived at the O2 far too early, it was about 1pm and the show didn't actually start until 4. I thought Molly and I would go out for lunch but she wasn't hungry because she'd had a sandwich on the way to the station, so we mooched and came across the Sky TV area. We were invited in by very friendly staff and went upstairs to the "studio".  We played putting ourselves in photos with famous people for a while, it was fun and no one was hurrying us along, so we pretty much smooched with everyone we could -

It was so much fun, and the we went into the new studio for Molly to read the important news about Cinderella turning up at Disney on Ice. She was a pro, a future career laid out in front of our eyes! 

We were then asked if we were Sky customers, "er No" I replied to the lovely young lady with us, "well pretend you are" she said and put backstage stickers on our tickets. "Come back at 2pm and you can chill out at Skybackstage!"

So we went on to visit the British Music Experience, which is a sort of museum. I thought i'd educate Molly on all the stuff I listened to when I was younger, but she was really only interested in trying to find One Direction, but the exhibition wasn't that modern. So we walked around for a bit (it only cost us £2 each because of our Disney Tickets) and then stumbled across the "Dance the decades" studio. Molly chose the Locomotion, and after watching a short video of the computer generated girl doing the moves, we had a go. It was video'd and scanning our ticket afterwards has given us the chance to laugh at ourselves for hours on end from their website. Brilliant fun. A real Muso would love it there.

So now we were getting a little peckish but the queues for the restaurants were getting bigger and we still weren't massively hungry, so we opted for a takeaway hotdog eaten on a bench. Great for on the go food, and perfect timing for our Skybackstage "party"

We headed back to Sky and once again we welcomed with open arms. Ok, so it wasn't really a big party, there was a long queue for face-painting but frankly that was a good waste of time because Sofia the First was playing on the floor to ceiling screen whilst we were queuing. So Molly got her face painted and then her photo taken against the Sky backdrop. A fantastic bar, if we were going to sit down and have a drink, and definitely worth a visit with grownups lol!

And then on to the show. We had fab tickets. Row K, block 110 and an excellent view of the ice. It was cold, but then its an ice show, what do you expect!! Didn't stop Molly having an ice cream though, but old mummy opted for a coffee.

The show itself was nothing less than spectactular. Pure Disney genius, with a lot of glam, sparkle, music and dance. You almost forget that on top of the amazing show, they are actually on ice and the skating itself was awesome. We saw Princess Tiana, Cinderella, Snow White and the main part of the show was Rapunzle, with characters so true to their movie characters, including Maximus, who was great on the ice too. The show was over by 6pm and we found it easy to get out and get to the station without too much of a squeeze.
The O2 is a great venue, if you've not been before and have something booked, I recommend taking more time out to mooch around and get something to eat.  And to top our fantastic day off, Molly's wobbly tooth came out on the train home.

On a final note, I'm so sorry I've not got a pic of this weeks cake. I made my first ever meringue Roulade for Christmas. Meringue, chestnut cream and fresh raspberries. Got eaten up before i could find my camera! :)

My smug response to "37 things you'll regret when you're old".... and christmas baking!

So there is a link circulating facebook at the moment (well there are hundred, but apart from knowing how middle class or right-wing I am, this one is a little more structured educationally). It is 37 things you'll regret when you're old.  I read through this list, and felt very proud of myself, which then inspired me to write another blog with my lifestyle coach head on to remind people IT'S YOUR LIFE, LIVE IT TO THE MAX!

Here's my personal response to some of the items on the list -
1.Not Travelling when you had the chance
I have been lucky, living at home after Uni, gave me the chance to save a few quid to enjoy myself. From two week breaks to Greek Islands, and Spanish party resorts (although I've still not done Ibiza) to booking a three week holiday to Thailand on a weeks notice, which was probably the most exciting holiday I've ever taken, to stunning honeymoons in Singapore, The Maldives, and a stunning freebie to Mauritius (DO ENTER COMPETITIONS, SOMEONE HAS TO WIN!!) I'm happy now for a few years off, whilst the children grow up, and do my week in the sun with a kids club and mini disco!

2.Not learning another language
Thankfully my school was German (not often you would hear someone say that), and by that I mean founded by an Austrian and therefore pushed the German language from the age of 5. I will now endeavour to teach my children foreign languages (thank you Dora for the help), it will make their holidays and travels so much more rewarding.

4. Forgoing Sunscreen
When I go on holiday, if I'm lucky, my skin colour will go slightly pink. I can't sunbathe, it just doesn't actually work for me and I would only burn, and because of this, and my insistence to cover the whole family in factor 50 I do think my skin is better for it, and I still look like the child I act like!

5. Missing the chance to see your favourite musician
Book tickets to EVERYTHING you can! Reading festival on numerous occasions was definitely the highlight of my gigging life, and I can't count how many times I have seen Terrorvision, The Bluetones and Gene but each time leaves you feeling so exhilarated, so much a part of the atmosphere and the making of these great bands! Now I fear the next band I might be seeing will be One Direction God help me!!

8. Letting yourself be defined by gender roles
I'm not sure if I'm a Tomboy or a girly girl. I pick and choose my moments, but no one was stopping me going on my lads football tour to Thailand (see above). Thankfully there was no playing of the sport involved, because I really would have let myself down there, but lots of sitting in pubs, watching the World Cup and generally being one of the lads.  Although I do recall leaving the pub at half time during one game, because I'd seen a fabulous handbag in a shop down the road. Do whatever you want to do, it doesn't matter what or who you are!

10. Not trying hard in school
I'm ashamed to say I was a goody goody at school.  I only ever had one detention and that was from the Pottery teacher! I did love school. I loved my teachers and I loved learning, and now at this ripe old age it has paid off (more about that in 2014!!). I want my children to enjoy learning too and am so pleased to say that in the current situation, Molly's school teachers provide such a fabulous environment that the children are excited to go in and learn. Please long may this continue!

11. Not realizing how beautiful you were
Here's one for all you ladies (and some men out there) you ARE beautiful. Look at yourself, look how well your dress yourself, do your hair and make up, look how others look at you. Appreciate yourselves because the more you do, the more others will.  Stop dieting, stop trying to look like airbrushed magazine photos. Look natural, look unique and look in the mirror!

12. Being afraid to say "I love you"
Its my favourite phrase and I use it all the time. I love my family and my friends. I'm not scared to tell them. Don't be scared to say it, because think how it make you feel if someone says it to you! My husband and I tell each other every single day that we love each other. Its said genuinely too, not as routine and just adds that sense of security and good feeling to the end of a phone conversation. If you don't do it now, start to! It goes for mum's, dad's, siblings and friends too. Obviously children go without saying.

15. Caring too much about what other people think
SO WHAT? If you want to do something, and its not illegal or so dangerous that you might end up dead, do it! I want to wear a pink dress with red tights, what are you going to do about it (actually thats more Molly than me). I want to quit my job and become a pop star (well I don't, its just an example), go for it! I want to buy one person a present, but not another... and so on. Its your life, make your own decisions!

18. Holding grudges, especially over someone you love
This has happened within my family for the past 20 years, and just recently contact was remade between a number of cousins of varying degrees and life is SO MUCH better for it. Most grudges are forgotten, but the bad feeling remains. When you look back and ask yourself why you are feuding, and can't actually remember a viable reason, then be a better person and contact them. Facebook is excellent for just this, and not just pictures of cats doing stupid things!

20. Not volunteering enough
One of lifes most rewarding experiences, is seeing other people in greater need than you, benefiting from something you have done. Whether its raising money for charity, helping out at a school fayre or taking food parcels round to an elderly neighbour. Following on from this, I will volunteer my time to anyone who needs a shoulder, a cuppa and a frank talking to!

23. Working too much
I am certainly not guilty of this one! I work three days a week, and those three days I will put 100% in to my work, and very occasionally, a little more outside of those days, but the rest of my time is MINE (well the children's really). It is so important to spend your time wisely before it passes by too quickly, what is the point in earning so much money from hard work if you can't spend it on the things that make you happy. Not everyone wants to be their own boss, and hardly anyone wants to be putting in a 60 hour week. Look abroad, and see how much family time our neighbours have in Europe. Children grow up too quickly, holidays are over too soon, don't miss them for work!

25. Not stopping enough to appreciate the moment
Life does pass by so quickly, and its vital to stop occasionally and just look around you, drink in the moment and the atmosphere and be grateful for what you have. Whether its a sunny day and you are able to sit in the garden and watch the butterflies flitting around, or whether you have taken that well earned holiday and can sit on a rock overlooking a stunning view of a bay, a mountain or the countryside (it doesn't have to be a rock you sit on either).

29. Refusing to let friendships run their course
This is probably the most difficult, because friendships, unlike some relationships aren't expected to come to an end without good reason, but the truth is they do. Growing up changes all of us, and to hang on to a friendship where one or both parties are not going to put 100% effort in is devastating, hurtful and can even turn quite nasty.
Rather than cling on to a friendship worth nothing, move on and remember those good times before its too late, and all your thoughts are bitter ones.

30. Not playing with your kids enough
I definitely can't be accused of not doing this. From the second I wake up (as usually i'm being woken by one of the children) the imaginative games start, breakfast is not just breakfast, it is the breakfast of kings and queens and most certainly princesses and all their pets. Walking around the park is a jungle full of wild animals, and which one of us princesses can save them all! The only risks to some of these games I would say, include me getting stuck on a slide, and the fact that as a mother of two, I can only last about 4 minutes on the trampoline before I need to run to the loo!

33. Worrying too much
Easier said than done, but if you personally cannot do anything about a situation, don't worry! And if you can do something to influence an outcome or change, then get on with it and stop worrying.

36. Never performing in front of others
This one might not be for everyone, as some people really do prefer to be the audience than the entertainment, but for someone like me, a little bit of a extrovert some might say, life is a performance, and the bigger the audience the better. We will revisit this again next spring!! Watch this space.

37. Not being grateful sooner
ALWAYS show your gratitude when you can, because if you wait too long, you may not get the chance to do it. Whether its something simple, like a playdate when you're running late and can't get to school pick up on time or something major like a big gift from someone, it takes seconds to say Thank You, moments to write a Thank you card, and about £20 to send a cute bunch of flowers. Recipients will feel that appreciation and will want to help you again, and vice versa, if someone show's their gratitude to you, you would want to help them again too!

On reflection I feel that I can grow old now knowing that I don't have very many regrets, and I'm not even half way through my life yet (hopefully). Long may I continue to enjoy myself, appreciate and help others around me and of course...bake cakes for everyone I know!

Now for the picture of the day! A couple of shots of some christmas gifts I made this year. First time for home baked gifts, but the feedback has been amazing so far. Double chocolate biscotti (with a hint of orange), Star shaped Lebkuchen for that authentic German market feel and Vanilla fudge for pure indulgence. Enjoy!

Its that time of year again... the works christmas do! ... and a Barcelona cake!

What do you get if you cross a Frenchman, Italian, Russian, Indian, Arab, Korean, American etc.?
THE BIGMACHINES CHRISTMAS WORKS DO!!

I thought I'd write an entertaining little blog on my works Christmas do this year, as for a UK office as small as ours, the multi-culturalness of it all makes a fantastic albeit it not quite politically correct day out!
So in addtion to the above, there were a few British, an honorary German, a couple of tee-totallers and a few more drinkers!

We booked to eat at the Dickens Inn, in St. Katherine's dock. When I say we, I obviously mean me, as the control-freak Office Manager. I booked it for 1.30, because at my age, no one likes a really late night, but to be on the safe side, and assuming everyone would be late, I told them to get there for 1pm! How embarrassing for me then to arrive to find nearly all of them there before me!! And I had spent my whole train journey wondering how many pre-ordered and paid for meals I could eat if no one else turned up.

Maybe its an age thing again, but I thought the food was just awful! Mr Dickens (although it may not be owned by you any more, nor ever in the past come to think of it), just because you are catering for 18 people in one sitting, it doesn't mean you have to immediately swap all fresh foods for processed, extra salted crap! Especially when we only had three things to choose from in the first place! Luckily, I was the only person who admitted that the food was awful so I didn't embarrass myself this time by complaining (but maybe TripAdvisor might get a little review later).  Between our starter and main, the wonderful Simon, Katie and Graham S (honorary German) created a quiz. It was hysterical. Serious general knowledge questions with fantastic forfeits for those of us who got them wrong.  Asking an Italian to talk about baking non stop for a minute lead to some interesting facts (out of work hours of course), asking an Indian to hug his big French colleague was almost scary and trying to get the 100% British guy, who's not sure that he is British to pronouce Yacht properly definitely lightened the atmosphere. As did the drinks, courtesy of work, free flowing.

After the (disappointing) dinner (maybe I should become a restaurant critique, although I'm no good with really spicy foods, mushrooms, peppers and most posh things), we headed off to a pre-booked Karaoke bar, The Old School Yard. I'd booked this from 5-7pm.  Our dear director had headed there early, as a delayed flight meant he missed out on dinner (at the delight of all the greedy buggers in my office). His words to me when he go to the bar were "I think i'm here but its scary". This was at 4 o'clock in the afternoon!

We went to join our poor scared director (he's the Korean one who said being asked to sing Gangnam style was indeed Racist!) to find the bar was closed. After banging on the door at 4.30pm we were told to come back at 5, when they would be open early for our karaoke party. We were all a little apprehensive at this point, but found a nearby bar which was very pleasant and no one was wielding knives in it. Safe for the non-londoners to drink in.

Back to Karaoke, now if you have any doubts and concerns as to whether people will join in, and you book a private room do NOT fear. Even the most teetotal of us all were jumping on the sofa's inflatable guitars in hand, oversized sunglasses (come on, its gotta be done at Karaoke) belting out tunes that only the 70's and 80's could have given us. It was a roaring success and I definitely would recommend it. The choice book wasn't that great, but once we started keying in anything that could be shouted, and a few cocktails were ordered (which brings me onto another complaint, hang on!) everyone sang and everyone almost lost their voices.
Now back to the cocktails, Mojito's I get. Apart from a little too much ice, they are refreshing tasty boozy and leave your breath minty fresh. Mai Tai, again a lovely fruity little number that can be drunk in the same way you would drink milk straight out of the bottle in the fridge if you thought no one was looking but JAGERBOMBS! What the hell????? Firstly, this Jagermeister is a strange spirit. It doesn't really have a taste, its not strong, its not aniseedy, its just, well, there! And not pleasant either. Bad enough on its own, so WHY OH WHY do you put the glass of Jagermeister in another glass with REDBULL! The most disgusting drink on this planet (even worse than rootbeer) and then tell your customer to neck it! I can't see how you can neck a drink with a glass in it. Talk about health and safety, never mind getting drunk and falling over, what about splintering your mouth with a broken shot glass you've just swallowed! Sorry guys, but I just don't get it!

We were kicked out of Karaoke at 7pm, following a lovely Secret Santa, gifts for all! Mostly inappropriate and definitely NOT politically correct, so well received by all. By now, no one was scared of Bermondsey and we marched proudly on to the next nearest bar, losing a few teetotallers on the way. It was getting very late though, it had gone 7pm and suddenly the age gap within the team was apparent. The youngsters, and childless ones hadn't noticed the time and were happy to continue drinking, the older ones, and I really now have to include myself amongst them, found a table and slumped. One more drink was bare-able, one more Jagerbomb sent us over the edge.

By 8.30pm we woke each other up and started the stumble to the train station. I had to put my dear friend David on his train to Paddington and then make my own way to the other platform for my Baker street train. I tried my hardest not to fall asleep on the train, I have NO idea if I succeeded or not but I found my way to Rickmansworth, and my wonderful mother was waiting for me! It doesn't matter how old you are, you are NEVER too old to get your Mum to pick you up from the train station when you are so drunk you can barely move! Thank you Mummy :)

And so endeth the Christmas party for another year. The photos will go up on our works chatter site and we will groan and laugh about the antics for days to come, and now I shall remain sober until Christmas!

Now, please sit back, relax and enjoy a cake I made for a friends son's 9th Birthday. He loves football!

Shared maternity leave?...... Are you mental???? ......... and my first ever christmas cake

Is Nick Clegg off his rocker? or his rocking horse? He thinks he has come up with a brilliant way of allowing women to still have the choice of being a "career" woman or a "mother". Well, funny you should mention that Nick, because actually, women do still get that choice now, and taking 3 months to a year off work following birth doesn't change their future.

But by April 2015, Nick has suggested that mothers will automatically get their 18 weeks of statutory paid leave but then couples can decide who takes the remaining 34 weeks (16 of which is paid) between them. 

Additionally, irrelevant of the choice above, fathers can get an extra four weeks paternity pay (statutory) to be taken at any time and spaced out if necessary throughout the year.  This is known as the "daddy month" and actually, this works! 

The problem most couples find at the moment, is that the first couple of weeks after a baby is born, assuming that the birth has gone well and everyone is home safe and sound, the baby generally tends to sleep a lot. I know when mine came home (especially Lucy, who was discharged with me 24 hours after my c-section), there was a lot of sleeping being done, and not just by the babies! Lovely to have hubby home for a couple of weeks, but he did take the opportunity to have little cat naps when the babies were too. Nice for him, it didn't really matter so much for me as there was little else to do (once I'd instructed him on washing colours, what can be tumble dried and how to read the cooking instructions on the ready meals). So given the chance for him to take his paternity leave later in the year, I might have gone for that option and he could have helped out around the 6 month mark when I was returning to work.  

Paternity leave however is so very very different from MATERNITY leave. 

When my first child, Molly was born, I was lucky. The company i was working for had a fantastic maternity pay policy and I was able to take almost a full year off work and be paid a decent amount for the most of it. My 2nd I was on statutory maternity pay, so I had little choice but to return back to work after 6 months.  

If I had shared those 6 months with my husband, not only would we be a lot worse off financially, as he earns more than I do, but I would also miss out on that special time a mother has bonding with her child, and, I'm not kidding anyone here, that special time a mother has doing coffee mornings and bonding with other friends who aren't at work!

This may sound like a dig at men, but really its a reality check, and not just basing this on my own darling husband, but on all my friend's husbands too (maybe bar one, who is one of the best mothers I know). Men are lovely, and there is no denying that they love their children as much as we mothers do, but genetically, THEY CAN'T MULTI-TASK.

Think to the odd days where hubby has been home with baby Lucy all day. Hmmm....  I've come back from a busy day at the office (despite taking my maternity leave I still have a fabulous job that pays well and which I love). Daddy and baby are sitting on the couch. Lucy is in a different outfit to the one I dressed her in that morning, daddy is still in his Pyjama's. He looks stressed.

"Did you have a fun day" I ask, knowing full well that the days i'm not working are fun-filled and VERY busy.

"Well..." it starts "By the time she had poo'd through her first outfit, and i changed her, it was snack time, but then she got food down her top so I changed her again, and then we watched some TV and I took her out in the car to fall asleep. We got back and I had a little nap too because I was so tired. Then we had lunch and played in the lounge a bit and now you're home"

"Oh ok, did you put a wash on then with all her mucky clothes? and did you get a chance to empty the dishwasher? and whats for supper?"

Blank look... "I've been busy. The baby hasn't let me do anything all day"  and that is generally how it goes.

Look at it the other way round, this is a day in the life of me on my non-working day - 

Wake up the same time as if I was going to work
Get me and the girls washed and dressed before going down for breakfast
Do school reading, get snack ready and check Molly has everything she needs for school.
Saddle up both girls and take Molly to school. Chat to the other mums, feeling chilled and happy to see my friends.
Go home with Lucy, check my emails - both work and personal, as there is a lot of work stuff going on at the moment. Give Lucy a banana to keep her quiet whilst I make a work call.
Do a quick PTA letter and we both go back over to school to get it printed out
Pop off to play group. Drink my first cup of coffee of the day and chat to friends whilst Lucy plays with their kids and other people's toys. Make sure she has a good feed at snack time. I know that she'll sleep in the car on the way home.
pop to the local shops, we ALWAYS need milk, butter, cereal etc.
Lucy falls asleep on the half mile journey home.
Put her to bed, decorate a fruit cake, wrap some christmas presents, empty the washing machine, put the tumble drier on and non tumble clothes on the radiator, empty the dishwasher and think about what to make for dinner that evening. Realise I forgot something at the shops.
Lucy wakes up, we have a cuddle and I make her lunch. A friend pops in for tea and to try my home made pies. She is impressed.
Walk back over to school to collect Molly and have another chat with the mums about how nice our days have been so far.
Put girls straight in the car, with a sandwich for Molly. Head to the supermarket. Buy everything I'd forgotten to get that morning and head home.
Make the girls supper and do reading with Molly. Check my emails again.
Put the telly on after all that, and Daddy comes home.......

Please do correct me if i'm wrong but my day is the sort of day only a mother could handle, and still smile at her husband when he get's home and not be so tired that you can't have a bit of play time later on! Oo-er missus.

THAT is why I would NEVER let my husband take paternity leave without my supervision by his side, and I'd rather if he took time off, it was annual leave so he would still get a day's pay for it.

Nick Clegg, you're not really in touch with reality are you? You're assuming that women who take maternity leave cannot go back to high powered jobs, but so many of my friends return after a year off work to their Director and senior management positions. its not a problem of maternity leave, but a problem of some companies flexible working policies.

Anyway, despite all the mothering I do, I will always find time to bake a cake, and I have finally decorated my first ever christmas cake! I can't wait for Boxing Day when we'll be at my mums and I can start on it!

Another one about diets .. and celebrities... and a lovely cake!

So I've returned to the issue of diets after having read a lovely article in some trashy magazine (well I was in the hair dressers after all) about twitter trolls targeting Jennifer Ellison (I think she was in Brookside) for being fat and ugly 12 (TWELVE) weeks after giving birth.
For a non celebrity mother, that is no time at all, and I was muttering to myself that it was outrageous that people could be so ignorant, naive and rude about someone.
This happens all the time with celebrities, they get scrutinised every time there is a photo printed of them but everyone, not just the nasty trolls but, tell me you haven't commented on a celebrities looks. Its normal! If the picture is put in front of you of course you're going to judge it. We are human after all!

So I was thinking poor Jenni, she's really getting some stick, people should leave her alone, after all she is a beautiful woman no matter her size -

and then I looked at the pictures again in the magazine (and for the life of me i'm trying to find them online to show you) and I thought... if I was insecure about my weight I would not wear a bikini on holiday. I would cover a little more up and go for a swim suit, and if I was feeling really really insecure I would wear a sarong or a loose top! The photo in the magazine was a family pic. Mr Jennifer Ellison was wearing long shorts and a shirt, little kiddie was wearing shorts and t-shirt and the only one in the bikini was Jenni herself.

Then my little lightbulb struck up - "EXACTLY" I shouted to my hairdresser. She's not insecure at all! She loves her body and is showing it off to her husband, knowing full well that she is being papped at the same time.  The media have probably been given this picture and have made their own article up about her losing her baby weight. She's happy, confident and above all this time round not suffering from post natal depression.

Then I looked through the rest of the magazine and a few more. There are curvy girls from TOWIE (I have no idea who they are though) are beautiful but they really don't wear much do they? Headlines screeching "So and So on a diet", "So and So has put on 5lbs shock horror" but all of these girls are parading around for all to see and clearly love themselves. So why the pressure? Why the constant barrage of abuse and comments. Why don't we all say. "look at so and so, she's got a skimpy bikini on, bet she gets herself a new bloke wearing that!!"

Here's another couple of celebs who's weight fluctuates but they will still go out and show themselves off because they know they are beautiful!

I could find many more, but the message of today's blog, is that celebrities are normal woman who spend a lot of time infront of cameras. Many of the normal ones have fluctuating weight and many of them would rather enjoy eating normal food and doing normal things but are told by their managers and agents they are not allowed!

As a non celeb, we are so lucky that we can do WHAT THE HELL WE LIKE, wear what we want, eat what we want, do what we want. Remember that as your farting your way through the cabbage soup diet, or people are avoiding your stinky breath on Atkins, or if you're permanently counting points for weight watchers and slimming world.  People who don't diet, eat sensibly and go out with their friends and have a lot more fun!

Oh and todays cake was a lovely cake I made for my friends son's birthday. Double layer blue and green sponge with an abundance of dolly mixtures.

An ode to Christmas shopping.... and an amazing cake!

It is November and cold outside
So I have allowed myself some time to abide
The start of shopping for Christmas time
And thus begins my little rhyme.

As a list writer and money-saving fan
my preparation began with a full-price ban
to get the best deals I did shop around
and bargains galore have now been found!
Sorry dear friends no tat for you
I'd rather make cakes to share, that's true
Its just family I'm buying for this year
There's not point in having a bill so dear

Lets start with the children, they take up most space
and money and objects that fill up the place.
Their list for Santa is a mile high
as adverts on telly tell me to buy
A robotic fish, a toy dog that poos
and Cillit Bang to clean the loos.
The kids aren't fussy, they like the jingles
they'd be happy even if I just bought the singles
Of songs that tell them to buy these things
and not forgetting the fairy with wings
The reviews are crap but what can you do
Peer pressure dictates we must comply too.

Thus most of the budget is spent on the kids
its lucky that Ebay accepted my bids
and money was saved, although not quite as much
to buy my own present, I'm such a soft touch!
Siblings are relatively easy to buy for
A gadget, some music or films and more
Often on offer, a 3 for 2's great
You could buy them more things, you'd be their best mate.

My Parents I think I know quite well
They've been around a long time, an easy sell
I'll buy something that's missing from inside their home
that I want to see, not a garden gnome.
Something intelligent that makes me look good
Or perhaps I can borrow it, maybe I could?
If its shiny and metal they'll think its so cool
and how clever they are, they're nobody's fool

Modern technology for grandparents eh?
What would their old-fashioned friends all say!
Aunts and uncles they love their biscuits
A big selection tin is just the ticket
But lastly, not leastly are the in-laws.
Such careful though deserves applause
For buying them gifts within budget and style
To make Christmas shopping really worthwhile
I don't know their clothes size, don't know their taste
So different to mine, I don't want to waste
good time, effort, money on things that get stored
high up in the cupboard, forever ignored

So I ask my dear husband, what should I buy
He answers "I don't know, you're asking me, why?"
They are your parents, you know them so well
But you haven't a clue either, that I can tell
So we'll buy them some chocolate, a diary, a pen
Those things that went out in the 80's, back when
We didn't have internet, or all of these gadgets
we rely on now, such irritating habits

The dogs get a bone, some biscuits to chew
'though they'd be happy with wrapping paper between me and you
but here ends my story of Christmas shopping
Good luck with yours, wishing you all you want in your Stocking.

And let me end with the chocolate Pigs in Mud cake I made my brother for his birthday.
Went down a treat!!

How to choose a primary school ... and a cake with a little doggy on it!

Good day to all my lovely readers.

Today, after chatting to a number of friends with small pre-school age children I thought I'd give my advise and opinion on the best way to pick a Primary school for your children.

Its not often that I will publicly slate something or somewhere, I usually try and be open-minded to give everything the best chance, but in this instance I am happy to openly display my contempt for OFSTED and explain why their reports should hold very little value to your choice of schooling.

In the region where I live, there are a number of Primary schools, at least 9 in the space of two small towns that I can think of. Of these 9 schools, 8 of them are really, really very good.  The 9th one possibly is good, and i've heard nice things about the teaching staff, but no one that I know has ever put it down as a choice for their child.

So lets retrace our steps a little bit. A couple of years ago I went through the same process myself of choosing a school. I found it all very easy, because I live about 10 yards from the school I chose for my daughter and I knew I liked it before I moved into my house!  But going through the process, you would normally look for the following:
1. How far away is the school from my home?
2. How good is the OFSTED report?
3. what are the other children like?

Not a bad process but I would, in the light of day now REMOVE point number two, and this is why....

OFSTED is a bully. OFSTED knows nothing about teaching and OFSTED has predefined ideas of how it will grade a school before its set foot onto the premises.
The role of OFSTED is supposed to grade schools as to their teaching methods, whether they fit in with government rules and how well in general the children are developing. However, there are a number of schools around the country, where the children are not developing as per their peers, and this is down to any number of reason from style of teaching, quality of teachers, background of children (parents make quite a difference to how a child learns), religion, nationality etc.
In the case of the last two possible reasons - religion and nationality, we run the risk as a country, that if we slate these schools and mark them lower than neighbouring schools, we will be called racists.  I am no way racist, and talking about race and religion does not make me racist, but it cannot be overlooked that a school in England, where none of the children's first language is English, is not going to do as well against the school guidelines as a school where children speak English at home. Fact! There are state schools in England that have no English children, there are state schools of various religious background where teachers have different views to the government, and put their views before the government views when teaching the children.
So that we don't upset our peers, a number of good state schools outside of the above categories have been marked down so that the other schools don't look quite so bad.
This in turn is a direct reflection on the good teachers at these schools, who work so hard to educate our children, love teaching our children and watching them develop and progress, but are bullied into a state of emotional stress, thus of course affecting their work, purely based on a pre-defined decision.  This is PC at its worst, whereby genuinely good, honest staff are being penalised for no reason.

I'm not only picking on religious and schools with English being the minority.  Back to the 9th school in my area. Until very recently, 8 of the 9 schools were single form entry. 30 children per year.  Two years ago, one good performing school was told they HAD to increase their entry for just one year to 60 children. They've not been asked to do this again.

Last year, the school that no one puts down on their choice of schools received planning permission for building works to extend the school massively, in order to accommodate a 2nd form entry every year going forward. This started in 2013. "But" I hear you say, "You said no one wants to go there!"

Now, I don't want to sound like Katie Hopkins (and I can't believe I've just given her some publication on my own blog!), and I'm not at all a snob in the slightest, but my reason, and from what I can tell the reason for a lot of friends for not choosing this school as an option was simple.  I looked at the school at pick up, and thought, do I want my children spending the next 7 years with children who's mothers stand outside the school, fag hanging out of their mouths, language that I wouldn't even use at a football match shouting across the street, and the dress sense of a couch potato who hasn't quite managed to get up to get washed and dressed yet.  Call me what you like but I spend a lot of time teaching my kids right from wrong, and however much I like to swear, I certainly save that for the office and the car when I'm on my own. I groom my children as best I can (yes, my best clothes DO still come from Tesco though) and I also make them eat fruit and veg.  I want them to continue with this and I don't want them to continually ask me why they have to eat fruit when others around them are only eating chocolate or KFC. I don't want to hear swearing from their little innocent mouths and if being completely honest, I don't want them to start smoking... EVER.  Unfortunately, the impression I got from this 9th school was that. I might be wrong, and I know that I am being very generic and I'm sure there are a number of fantastic families at this school, whose children and lovely and polite and well-behaved. But in this case I'd rather be in the majority.  In a school where parents are less interested in their children's education, you do of course run a greater risk of a problem with bullying Yes, it happens everywhere, but in a school where parents know what is going on, and are actively interested in their kids, this is more likely to be nipped in the bud before it gets too bad.

So how does the government persuade parents to put this school down as their choice? OFSTED reports.  This school, at its last report (2012) got Satisfactory across the board. The grading has now been changed, so that what previously was Satisfactory is now "Requires Improvement". If you are not sure of a school and how it is operating, and therefore relying on OFSTED to give you this vital information, Satisfactory seems much more positive than requires improvement doesn't it? If I were to choose a school only on paper, then I would certainly go for this option, and with a brand new school building, its got to be popular to require the extra space? Right? so so SO very wrong.

So as I mentioned earlier, when you are putting your three or four choices down for your children's primary school, look at the area around you, and then go for a walk  between 3pm and 3.30pm and see if you like the look of the other mothers, see what the language is like, and most importantly, see if the children are smiling.

One last note on the mothers thing before I move on to my cake of the day - you will be spending 7 years with these other women. Get a good bunch and you stand to have a fabulous social life with them too, its not just the children who make friends at school, its us Mums too (and Dads lets not forget!).

Ok, so today's cake was a birthday cake for my American boss who is missing little Sam, his Bassett Hound. So I made him a chocolate banana nut tray bake, and tried to recreate Sam on it! What do you think?