But one thing that has come to light in recent times, is that despite getting older, getting married, settling into routines and comfort zones, becoming parents and putting all your energies into raising the kids as happily and responsibly as possible, those emotions you felt in the school playground, outside McDonalds on a Sunday evening or in the nightclubs on Student night, haven't actually gone away.
Its strange isn't it. We become so responsible for other people, whether its our children or boss, or elderly parents, that we assume we should grow out of thinking the things we do, because life doesn't actually have the time or space for them. But we don't.
In the school playground, I remember as a child my best friend telling me she didn't like me any more and going off with another friend. They left me alone and I was devastated, my world had ended. The next day we were best friends again, silly playground antics. In the nightclubs, friends and I would spot the guys we wanted to pull. If we both happened to spot the same guy, some reasoning would be had, to either bagsy him first or leave him alone. The hurt when I caught my best friend snogging the guy I'd been telling her about all night broke my heart. I pulled someone else about an hour later but we didn't talk until she dumped him a week later. When I first got my driving licence, suddenly I became really popular. It was an amazing feeling, until I realised that actually I was only being used for my wheels. I soon decided that petrol was more valuable than fake friends and chose my riders more carefully.
Really petty things that mean the world to us while we are younger, but actually, in different circumstances still jump up and bite us on the bum today.
I just find it really strange that firstly we do still react so emotionally, if an event gets postponed/cancelled/changed and you're the last one to find out, surely we should be pleased that we get extra time to spend with the kids or doing something at home with our loved ones, not pondering on why we weren't part of the change and always asking the question "what did I do wrong" or "why is my opinion not important".
How about, a translation into modern terms, if you post a really cute picture of your kids on facebook. People see it, and can show their fondness of the photo by "liking" it. So if a friend, who you know has been on the site, doesn't "like" it, it can be heartbreaking! But why should we care. 53 other people, some of whom we barely even know have liked our photo, so why does it matter if one person doesn't?
Emotional actions (rather than REactions) are often carried out in moments of jealousy, but at our old age, surely we should get over our jealousies, and accept that we have indeed made our beds, now we have to lie in them, and if our friends have something we don't have, why can't we be happy for them, they are our friends after all. Jealousy though, leads to spitefulness and spitefulness is a horrible emotion to be on the end of. Being ignored by friends, having your loved ones ignored by your "friends" or having snide comments said about you are all really hurtful. EVEN for people in their 30's and 40's.
I still can't get over how we still react in such a way, and on so many occasions I want to shout "Grow up" to my friends, and even to myself when I look in the mirror, but instead I will spend a few days dwelling on what I could have done wrong to become the bad guy all of a sudden, heart skips a beat, checking Facebook for any clues.... I'm going to spend the last bit of my 30's training my emotions to come out only when needed, and the rest of the time I will stick two fingers up at the situations and get back to playing princess castles with those who matter most to me!
A little emotional rant today, but now, as I'm not fussed about anything other people are up to right now (as long as they are safe, well and happy) here is my Olaf cake. I'm pretty proud of this one, if I might say so myself!!
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