How to overcome people ... and rainbow Owl cake!

Aren't people funny creatures. You think they should be like you in some way, although you do realise that everyone is different, but oddly enough, some people just don't think like you do. They aren't programmed in the same way and probably think that you are very strange too.

Obviously, the first thing to note from this is that being different is good. How boring would the world be if everyone was the same. Thought the same, acting the same, had the same interests and ate the same food. So we should embrace and celebrate that everyone is different.
Having said that, it can be a right pain in the backside, when something so straight forward to you and comes as second nature without having to think about it, is so foreign to others.

So how do we deal with this? Sometimes we want to shout, scream and cry. Why can't others understand me? Why can't my friends treat me like I treat them. Why can't my boss give me a 50% payrise? Why can't the postman stick to the path instead of walking across my newly laid grass? It can be the smallest thing that irritates us the most, and if its a build up of one thing after another, you can be forgiven for wanting to scream or yell or facebook or tweet. Well STOP.  There is nothing to be gained (in most cases) by washing your dirty laundry in public. Look at the current saga with internet trolls. These are people, a lot of them just like you and me, who get pissed off at someone else's actions/appearance/comments and then write some really nasty things in the spur of the moment.. and then get hauled in by the police for harrassement. They don't gain anything apart from a warning, potentially a criminal record or even a prison sentence.

Think of how many celebrities you read about and disagree with. There are probably thousands of them, but would you start berating them publicly, or letting their actions upset you? Hopefully not (if you do, we need to talk).

The key to dealing with people who are getting your back up, is by not letting yourself get upset! So much easier said than done, you're saying. Yes and NO. You can teach yourself not to, and actually once you get the hang of it, its very rewarding!

Sometimes, when you really want to scream and shout, you should let yourself, but not in public. Sit in the car, have a good cry, call your bestie or your other half, but don't publish it.  Once that is out of your system, think about the person who has upset you.
What did they do and why did they do it? Think of how sad and unfortunate they must be, to behave in such a manner as to go around upsetting others. Think of THEM as the victim, start to feel sorry for them and their pathetic little lives.  Think of how lonely they are, because everyone else thinks of them as you do, they don't have real friends like you do, they don't feel love and other nice emotions.

Once you are in that mind frame, you can start to think of yourself, and how much a better person you are, because you behave so much better. You do the right thing, use the right manners, say the right words. The other person doesn't have those skills, what a shame for them.

The best thing, if they continue to treat you in a manner you don't want them to, is to look at them with pity, let them see the pity you have for them! Cock your head to one side when they're talking at you and give them a little smile. It will piss them off a LOT more than they are pissing you off and that will make you smile, and then you will become INVINCIBLE.

Having said all that, some people are rude because they've had a shitty day! Maybe send them this blog so they can have a better day and start to smile too.

Feeling good? You'll feel even better when you see this cake.....

Why 40 is so much better than 30... and a three tiered cake!

I've done it. I've reached my milestone 40th birthday and I'm happy as Larry.
For those of you in your twenties, who think I am old, you know NOTHING. Being 40 is the best age so far, because now I'M in charge. I do what I want to do and I don't care what others think.
Here's a brief run down of the other decades-

0-10.  Well, here I was quite under my mum's control. She determined my elfin haircut (just because everyone else had long hair) and decided I would do Judo instead of Acting classes, and Piano instead of dance. My mum chose my school (and I did love it though) and was the decision maker as to whether I had to go to Hebrew classes or not (luckily not for long).
I was a very good child, I didn't argue back much, so as a result, did what I was told, wore what I was made to wear but still very happy, just not a lot of control.

TEENS. A VERY interesting time and quite a lot of fun (not that my mum knows all of this). Still a lot of pressure on getting the right education, and choosing courses I thought I would want to. I persuaded my mum to let me drop Piano lessons, I left school and went to college. I was in control when I got the bus to college, but not necessary when James Drew was driving! I passed my driving test not long after I was 17, I met boys, a lot of boys (but mostly at the Jewish Youth clubs I was steered towards).
I met my best friend Candy and we decided to rebel without being naughty. That was the most fun! Turning up to an "evening in" wearing bondage trousers and biker boots, only listening to Chili Peppers and cool rock. Then we found the Hatfield Forum! Best days ever there, but still had to be back at a certain time because my mum would worry. Still felt sick with worry about what she would say when I totalled my first car a month after passing my test, still felt out of control and used eating as a weapon, and as a result was bullimic for many years.
Got to Uni, made some awesome friends, pretending that I was very independent and knew how to live on my own. Was still a goody goody and didn't bunk of any lessons. Was broke!

TWENTIES.  Finished Uni, had an amazing time living in Germany, got to know a few more boys, got popular in the music industry thanks to the family. Left uni and got a job, reverted back to living at home and following rules. Was still a very good girl, but with a little more money. Discovered designer togs and heartbreak (not necessarily linked). Got a mobile so could be a little more adventurous with my time keeping and spontaneity. Still VERY insecure. Followed people like a little lamb, always concerned about missing out and was a doormat occasionally because people knew I wanted to be "in". Chopped and changed jobs but didn't seem to progress.  Towards the end of the decade though I threw up on my husband to be's shoes and we fell in love...

THIRTIES. Such a busy decade. Became a lot more of a grown up, but so much pressure on becoming one there is less time to enjoy being me. Got a better job with good money, bought a house, bought a decent car, got married. Had some AMAZING holidays around the world and a few spontaneous weekend breaks abroad.
Had children, stayed in more, spent money on them, tried and tried to diet. Stopped dieting to try for a second baby. Hated my job, got depressed by it, luckily found a job I liked and spent an amazing three years there and without the stress got pregnant with Lucy. Spent lots and lots of money on children, house, petrol. Discovered Primark and dumped the designer. Still insecure, still paranoid about what people thought of me, if I was making a good impression. But then I headed towards where I am now.....

FORTIES. It's quite a big word and baffles me why the U from FOUR has been dropped. But here I am. I'm happy because I like myself. I like myself a lot. I love what I have become and what I've achieved. I am happy with my appearance albeit far from perfect, I choose whether I want to get drunk or just have a diet coke and drive. I choose my children's after school activities based on what I think they will enjoy (well Lucy hasn't actually done many yet, but she will). I adore my husband, I love my house. I downgraded my car, but its great because the music is loud, the colour is pretty and the boot space is awesome. I save money rather than splurge it, but when I've saved enough, I buy myself presents as well as the rest of the family. I reason with people, I don't agree with everyone and everything they say, but I listen to them and offer my opinion when it's wanted. It doesn't bother me now, if people change the plans, change their minds. If I think it's personal I will ASK. I have a plan, I have a bucket list (not that I'm preparing to leave this world any time soon). The future is exciting, I can be who I want to be. The last three decades were a great preparation for my forties and I'm grateful for how I got here. I'm still not ready for Radio 2. Now I'm here it's time to have FUN, LEXI STYLE!

And this was my birthday cake ..... and my hilarious 70s outfit.

Life begins at 40 and life is worth living.